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Nigerian man Balogun Kolawole Nathan, 32, and former lecturer at Auchi Polytechnic has been called out on X for impregnating a woman with twins, relocating to the United Kingdom after the fact while taking no responsibility for the children before or after birth. Evelyn Braimoh, the woman whom Nathan had impregnated and abandoned, shared her ordeal on International Safe Abortion Day, September 28, 2024.
She detailed how they met and dated and how he urged her to get an abortion when she got pregnant during their courtship.
“I met this guy mid-2019, and we started dating. I really fell for this guy, and I thought we were probably ending up together. He told me about his plans to travel outside the country where his elder brother was. When we met, he was a lecturer at Auchi Polytechnic, so he said he didn’t really like the job and was going to look for greener pastures abroad.
In what is tagged as “Japa,” Nigerian youth migrating to foreign countries for increased social and economic opportunities is an increasing norm. The 2024 World Migration Report reveal that about 205,773 had relocated to the United Kingdom, while about 141,000 Nigerians moved to the Commonwealth area between June 2022 and June 2023.
However, Evelyn narrated that while Nathan successfully secured an opportunity to migrate to the UK in 2022, he considered taking responsibility for the baby he helped make to be an inconvenience to his plans.
“When I told him about the pregnancy, he said he wouldn’t advise me to keep it because he was travelling,” Evelyn said. “He said he also wasn’t ready to be a father and that I should terminate the pregnancy.”
In Nigeria, unless a woman is about to lose her life, abortion is illegal and carries a 14-year imprisonment term. According to the Criminal Code Act, Chapter 77 of the Laws of the Federation of Nigeria (Revised ed. 1990), Articles 228-230, 297, 309, 328 forbids women to terminate pregnancy through the help of others or by themselves, either through pills, surgery or any other means.
“Any person who, with intent to procure miscarriage of a woman whether she is or is not with child, unlawfully administers to her or causes her to take any poison or other noxious thing, or uses any force of any kind, or uses any other means whatever, is guilty of a felony, and is liable to imprisonment for fourteen years,” Article 228 states.
The Center for Reproductive Rights documents Article 229 :
“Any woman who, with intent to procure her own miscarriage, whether she is or is not with child, unlawfully administers to herself any poison or other noxious thing, or uses any force of any kind, or uses any other means whatever, or permits any such thing or means to be administered or used to her, is guilty of a felony and is liable to imprisonment for seven years.”
Evelyn narrates that she refused Nathan’s suggestion to abort a pregnancy; however, he insists that she should resort to self-help through the use of pills and that they are not harmful or dangerous.
“Despite telling him that I could lose my life in the process, he said, and I quote, ‘If you are afraid of normal removal of the fetus, use pills; that one is not harmful or dangerous.’ I just didn’t know what to say again; I just told him I wasn’t ready to lose my life. Little did I know I was having twins,” Evelyn said.
According to the National Medicine Journal study updated in October 2024, about 212,000 women were treated for complications of unsafe abortion, representing a treatment rate of 5.6 per 1,000 women of reproductive age, and an additional 285,000 experienced serious health consequences.
With Evelyn refusing to engage in illegal termination of pregnancy, she narrated that Nathan abandoned her during the pregnancy and even childbirth. As such, she was left to go through the harrowing experiences of childbirth and childcare alone.
“All through my nine-month journey, this guy never called, even once, or replied to my WhatsApp messages. My pregnancy journey was a hard one; I fell sick all through my nine months, always on a drip every time.”
During the pregnancy, Central Diagnostics, Auchi, Edo State, diagnosed her with a twin breach. “There are two (2) ongoing and active features noyed with TWIN 1 in BREECH lie and TWIN 2 in TRANSVERSE (LEFT) left,” the obstetrician report states.
“It was the grace of God that I was able to scale through. I delivered through the Caesarian section, and that operation was a tough one. After giving birth, one of the babies was placed on oxygen because of how difficult the whole process was; I almost lost my life in this process. The day I opened my eyes and was able to hold my children, I did a video with my phone and sent it on WhatsApp to Kola, still he didn’t reply. So I told my family I was going to block him and delete his number, but my mum told me not to do it.
“When it was time for us to discharge from the hospital, there was no money; my mum was running helter-skelter just to source for funds, all to no avail. I was confused, so I texted him on WhatsApp again, told him our current situation, and even snapped the bill, which was 233,000, to him, but still, this guy did not reply.
“I cried my eyes out; someone who just had an operation. My blood pressure became very high again. The doctor came and started encouraging me, saying I should stop thinking that God would help me take care of my children. After everything, we were able to raise 200,000, so the doctor told us to forget the balance.
“We got discharged, came home, and I started taking care of my kids. He never called me or showed interest in the kids; I named my children myself, did everything myself; he didn’t care or show interest I called his brother, the one in Nigeria, and told him everything that had happened. He said he was going to call me back and that he needed to speak to his brother and confirm what was happening.”
Evelyn continued by narrating how she tried to survive alone, including living on the goodwill of others, taking a loan, and embarking on a 206-kilometre journey from Auchi to Ondo State to meet with Nathan’s family to help care for the children.
“After some weeks, I called his line, only to discover I had been blocked, even on WhatsApp. I almost gave up; I didn’t know how I was going to take care of my children alone. My mum’s business was drowning; every week, she would buy baby milk twice, 15,000 per one. She was spending 30,000 for only milk and no diapers yet.
“People were buying diapers for us, my friends, well-wishers, and some family members. When my kids were three months old, I introduced them to solid food because we couldn’t afford the milk. God was faithful; some friends and family members came through for me.
“Fast forward to March this year, when my children have completed one year, I still sent him an update that it was my children’s birthday. It’s not like we celebrated it; I just took them to the studio to snap one picture. Kola never replied although I got used to him not replying. But his attitude was draining me emotionally. Because of constant illness, my children have an elderly woman advised I should take them to their father’s people because twins are like that, and raising them is usually not an easy thing.
“After much deliberation, I decided to collect money from a loan app. I collected that money, 50,000, and we headed for Ondo State. On reaching Ondo town, because that’s where they live, Adeyemi College of Education, I told the security at the gate which we were looking for. They said we should hold on and that they would help us get a ride to their house.
“I didn’t know their house because I hadn’t been there. While we were waiting, a car drove towards where we stood, so the security man stopped the car. Behold, it was his brother who came out of the car. He started shouting, asking why I didn’t call him and what I was doing there. I told him to take us to his parent’s house and that we would come to see them. He asked us to enter the car, which we did, thinking he was taking us to his parents. No, he didn’t take us to his parents; rather, he took us elsewhere so that we wouldn’t create a scene.
“Long story short, he called his brother, and he said he should give my mum his phone. He started telling my mum that we could not go to his parent’s house to break that kind of news to him, that his dad is hypertensive, his father is going to be shocked; we should please leave that he will handle it himself.
“It was getting late, and my kids started crying; we weren’t to lodge in a guest house to pass the night; it was a long journey. The next morning, we left Ondo for Auchi a few days later, and he called me on WhatsApp. This guy started raining abuses on me, saying stuff like I took my mum to his place, we embarrassed ourselves, that I was stupid, what was I thinking, that he was going to marry me? I told him I didn’t want to marry him either. He should take care of his children; those kids are innocent; they can’t suffer because of our mistakes.
“This guy said over his dead body that he told me he doesn’t need children; he insulted me and my family to the extent I started crying. I dropped his call, blocked his number, and deleted it from my phone.
With Evelyn’s journey to Ondo state futile, she turned to Nigerians to urge Balogun Kolawole Nathan to have him take responsibility for the babies they both make.
“I am coming out today seeking help from fellow Nigerians. Please if you know his family in Ondo kindly help me reach out to them, the economy is hard, feeding,clothing and the kids need to go to school,” Evelyn said. “I am not interested in marrying Kola or having any relationship with him…I just want my kids taken care of.”
Speaking to Naija Feminists Media (NFM), Evelyn emphasised all she wants is for Kolwale to be a responsible parent.
“He should just be responsible for the children. He should provide for them,” Evelyn told NFM.
Since Evelyn announced her ordeal on social media, Nathan has locked his X account and has yet to make any public statement. However, several Nigerians have joined the call for Nathan to care for his children.
“@Nathan2280 don’t be heartless, for the sake of the kids, do the needful, because Nigeria don’t have a good working system that’s why you can do this, in that abroad that you are you know what will come for you for negligence. Do the needful,” serial entrepreneur Makibel said.
With Child abandonment being a sociocultural phenomenon, the National Library of Medicine defines it as when a parent intentionally leave a child behind openly or secretly, voluntary relinquishment of parental responsibility. The agency reveals that this form of child abuse could affect the physical and mental well-being of both the mother and children.
Reacting to stigma and victim blaming women typically face for male abandonment, Nigerian actress Aymoide proactively states that Evelyn couldn’t have been said to have paired with a seemingly irresponsible man.
“She didn’t date a Yahoo boy; it was a lecturer she dated, a supposed role model. So, no one can say she dated an irresponsible guy for money, which is the narrative most people go with when things like this happen in our society,” Road to Rich Aunty said on X.
