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Summary
Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's "Dear Ijeawele, Or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions" is an epistolary guide for raising a feminist daughter, emphasizing the importance of equality, self-belief, and rejecting restrictive gender roles. 1
Dear Ijeawele, Or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions is an epistolary publication by renowned writer and feminist Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. It was written as a response to a friend of hers, Ijeawele, who became a mother and needed guidance on raising a feminist daughter.
The 80-page book contains the author’s thoughts and ideas on being female, as well as on her roles in the society, from childhood to puberty, marriage and motherhood. This may be a cogent think-piece, capturing the phenomenon of (in)equality with succinct words and analogies, it was still no less of an epiphanic experience for me, even as I read it a second time primarily for this review.
It was like being in a one-on-one class with a feminist mentor. The book afforded readers the opportunity to re-evaluat their feminist life and beliefs, reminding they of the movement’s values and ideals, and of behaviours they may have adopted that aren’t in line with equality notions.
Adichie noted two important Feminist Tools for navigating whatever situation she finds herself in:
The first is an unshakable belief in knowing that SHE MATTERS. EQUALLY. Not ifs. No buts.
The second is a question that asks: “can you reverse X and get the same results?”
She also mentioned a striking point of feminism always being contextual. Anything can be ‘equal’, so long as the individual people involved make it so. A feminist woman may choose to raise a child from her husband’s extramarital affairs if he’d extend the same grace to her if she were unfaithful.
After establishing the premises above, she delved into analysing the state of a woman, in connective, expository, and unfair truths. The whole point of the book, can be summarised in an advice to BE, to EXIST and to LIVE FULL as a human.
Her fifteen suggestions rest on these fundamental facts.
Marriage and motherhood are not the totality of a woman’s life; same as romance and relationships. They can be fulfilling or add-ons to a [core] personality that existed, they can be great contributions to a healthy society (CNA believes love is the most important thing in life), and they can be commendable feats in some respect, I believe (although CNA says that a mother/father shouldn’t get special praises for raising a child). All these still remain parts that make up a woman, not a single overaching identity.
On the flipside, as traditional expectations do not make up a woman, so also does work or liberal perspective(s) not make up a woman.
Women can be anything humanly possible. Good, bad, kind, wicked, misogynistic, antifeminist, pro-choice, irreligious, superstitious, great cooks, artisans—whatever.
To be means to not live with a limiting idea of ‘I am a girl.’ Of course, for as long as the world exist as it is, there will be unpleasant dictates to face as a woman, but it’s a duty to oneself to rise above such. A lack of protection for women may require them to take preventive measures and plan their time, outings, but outside of this, there’s no limit to how (much) they can function.
To exist means to reject all gender roles, and to set one’s standards for treatment and interaction with the world. Adichie suggests ‘alternatives’ as one effective way of doing this. When a girl child is exposed to many alternatives (mum working, daddy cooking, soldier and train toys, different colors, empathetic uncles), she is able to understand that many norms in the world are not right.
And finally, to be live full means to appreciate everything about being a woman – her sex, skin, race, and name inclusive.
