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Summary
Modern women opting out isn’t the threat. The fear lies in what their freedom reflects - that control is slipping, and blame is easier than reflection.
The gender discourse online is exhausting. There’s a lot of noise, and somewhere in between the backlash, the blame, and the big declarations, we’ve stopped making sense.
There’s a growing narrative that marriage holds no value for men anymore. That women have become too modern, too assertive, too feminist, too much. There’s also this quiet panic about the rise of movements where women actively choose to opt out of romantic entanglements with men. And to that, one can only ask: if marriage is no longer beneficial to men, then why is there concern? Why is there deep anxiety around modern women choosing to walk away?
If marriage truly offers men no benefit, then surely there’s nothing to lose. And if it still does—if partnership, companionship, and shared life still matter, then there’s still no crisis. Because believe it or not, there’s no shortage of women who proudly reject feminism and embrace traditional roles. They’re visible, vocal, and growing in number. From online platforms to offline communities, women choosing submission and structure are rising to fill the so-called “gap” left behind by feminist activism.
In fact, when stepping outside feminist circles and into mainstream spaces, it’s impossible not to notice the number of young women denouncing feminism. Some call it a disservice to women. Others say it’s a trap that forced them to work like men and abandon their ‘femininity.’ But here’s the truth beneath the noise: it is far easier for a woman to lean out of corporate life and choose to be a ‘soft,’ stay-at-home wife than it is for a girl in a rural village to fight for an education in a culture that condemns her to the kitchen.
And so, the fear that feminism is forcing women into lives they don’t want becomes unconvincing. The choices are there. Women who want traditional roles have every freedom to live them. If anything, it is the women on the margins—poor, voiceless, rural—who are still fighting to have any choice at all.
The Pattern of Selective Outrage
What’s even more unsettling is how selective the outrage often is. There’s deep moral panic when a woman tweets something “outrageous or violent,” but hardly a whisper when atrocities against women occur routinely. Before asking women to condemn one incident, how often are men, collectively and vocally, condemning the groups of men who seek and share minors’ nudes, create AI porn of public figures, or rate teenage girls in group chats based on sexual “value?” How many have spoken out against the man exposed with hundreds of sex tapes? Or the creators of AI-generated child pornography that led to a young girl’s suicide?
Condemnation, when demanded, must go both ways. The silence around everyday misogyny, abuse, and violence is often deafening until a woman somewhere says something unkind about men, and suddenly, the moral high ground is summoned.
Distorted Narratives and Half-Told Stories
Of course, anyone who terrorises society, regardless of gender, should be condemned. That has always been the baseline. And yes, extreme ends of any ideology can become damaging. But there must be a willingness to hold all sides accountable, not just the ones that are easier or more emotionally convenient to criticise.
And while conversations often reference male victims— men who have faced false rape allegations or online harassment, it’s important to distinguish between what actually happened and the stories that online agendas have warped. One well-known case involving a young man’s suicide, Izu, is often cited as a tragic consequence of false rape allegations. But even his own family has clarified that his case was misrepresented. He was accused of harassment, not rape, and he admitted to it. His death, while heartbreaking, should not be weaponised to paint an entire gender movement as inherently harmful.
Meanwhile, powerful men, such as DBanj, accused of serious misconduct, continue to thrive. Cancel culture is selective and often exaggerated when men are involved. Some are still in public office, still leading institutions, still performing, and still celebrated.
So, the idea that men are being systematically destroyed while women thrive unchecked simply doesn’t hold.
A World Without Feminism Isn’t Neutral
It’s convenient to scapegoat feminism. To point fingers at women-centred movements or outspoken women online. But the deeper question is: in a world where feminism doesn’t exist, what happens to women? What does life look like when the loudest advocates for women’s safety, education, and autonomy go quiet?
Across parts of Asia and other regions, millions of girls have been lost to sex-selective abortions. In many places, girls are still denied education, married off too young, or trafficked with impunity. These are not problems created by feminism. They are problems feminism exists to challenge.
So again, if feminism vanished tomorrow, would the state of women be better? Or worse?
The reality is that men who want traditional wives can absolutely find them. Many women today are actively choosing submission, ‘softness,’ and stay-at-home roles. These women exist in droves. They are not hiding. They are not hard to find.
So perhaps it’s time to stop fearing modern women and start building the life you want with the women who already want it, too. If they exist and are not in hiding, then the question isn’t about women at all.
Maybe it’s about why their presence still isn’t enough.
