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Summary
Patriarchy demands that fully grown women remain in a perpetual state of girlishness, a pretence because we are also expected to carry loads that require might. True “femininity” is an assertive state of being.
A lot of performance of femininity stems from needing to comfort your inner child. Patriarchal norms exploit that valid need. You don’t need a man to lead you as you walk. You’re an adult; your inner child just longs to be truly loved by you. Therapy would help, I promise.
The safest you ever felt was in your mother’s arms as a baby. Both women and men seek to replicate that feeling of safety; there is nothing wrong with that. What is wrong is how women are taught that the very valid human need is, in fact, an inner call to be feminine.
Women are encouraged to perform fragility for crumbs of that feeling when true safety starts from truly and fully being and loving that being. This performance of fragility never leads us there. It, in fact, makes us more vulnerable. Which is exactly what patriarchy wants us.
Patriarchy demands that fully grown women remain in a perpetual state of girlishness, a pretence because we are also expected to carry loads that require might. There’s nothing feminine about femaleness. Periods are bloody, and not pretty, childbirth isn’t either. The first protector every single human knows is the mother who made them. True “femininity” is an assertive state of being. You are the leader. You don’t need to be walked like a dog.
Editor’s note: This post was first published on @onosowobo’s X platform.