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Summary
The feminist journey is not just a total of charity actions, tokens donated towards girls’ and women's organisations. It is an identity, an immersive way of life, and to integrate seamlessly into it would require an overhaul of all that erstwhile made one up as a person.
Being a feminist can be a lonely, exacting and fulfilling experience. That you’re a feminist could mean that you’re hypersensitive to social issues and realities, and you want or wish to do something about it.
Igniting your feminist consciousness and keeping it burning can be a long journey. Seeing the pervasiveness of misogyny in society, from the small acts of everyday interactions to institutionalised cultures, can be dampening, and it can be hard to go back to how life was once before encountering feminism.
Being true to the cause quickly reveals that it is not something to be put on and off ‘like a coat.’ The feminist journey is not just a total of charity actions, tokens donated towards girls’ and women’s organisations. It is an identity, an immersive way of life, and to integrate seamlessly into it would require an overhaul of all that erstwhile made one up as a person. Or most of it. The internalised misogyny, the unconscious biases, the ‘feel good’ stuff one has just been brought up to see as normal- dreaming of a perfect wedding and love story, desiring a ‘protector’ man, and all of the other things that make up the psyche of the average girl.
A part of being feminist is examining the whys and hows of long-nurtured desires, viz a viz their contribution to a society that places women as lesser than men. While some of these expectations may not be necessarily harmful, and most times are just an expression of the conditions that have come to be expected of women in a patriarchal society, doubts can linger as to whether one is truly a feminist.
But these are okay, and it is perfectly normal to feel like that. The realisation of the status of women in society and the acknowledgement that something needs to be changed about it is as good a starting point as any. No feminist is perfect, and no feminist was born one. While it is true that one is either a feminist or not, the only requirement to being a ‘card-carrying member’ of the movement is to be willing to grow – reassessing one’s beliefs and actions to reflect the movement’s ideals.
Aside from personal responsibility to oneself, the movement itself can present some questions by its nature (of being) or by adherents of the movement. Such questions may include: can feminists be religious? Can feminists be celibate? Can feminists get married or relate with men? Should a feminist know how to cook or keep up with current makeup tips and fashion trends? What is femininity, and are there ways some ‘aspects’ of it that can be integrated into the movement? Is prostitution empowering? What is the radical feminist position on self-care, beauty standards, soft life/love, BDSM, cam-modelling, surrogacy and egg donation?
Still beyond these, there exists negative and proliferated assumptions, misconceptions, mischaracterisations and misattributions to feminism and feminists themselves, carried out by vicious and tame anti-feminist persons alike.
All of these questions and occurrences, internal or external, could preoccupy one’s mind and even make identifying as a feminist a matter to second-guess over, but this doesn’t have to be so. To believe in the equality of men and women, as a matter of natural truth, while working towards helping women achieve liberation from male dominance and oppression is feminist. Every other thing else is consequential as a result of this basic fact. Organising and community are also quite tangential to this, as they provide an avenue for a seamless experience.
So be proudly feminist, while actively working on yourself and remaining committed to the cause of the movement. This is why organisations such as the Naija Feminists Media exist. We do not only have media channels to challenge some of these questions, from the ideological to the personal, but we have also curated a safe community of like-minded women where you can share your thoughts and gain clarity on them. Beyond the screen and a close-knit community, the cherry on top of our social activism includes partnerships with brands and liaising with governmental stakeholders towards championing and celebrating women’s rights in Nigerian society.
So stick around and come on board; this is the place where you have it all in one on your feminist journey.
