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Summary
Women are often mockingly called ‘complex,’ and some women internalise this to appeal to a male-centric culture, but true freedom lies in being true to oneself.
Women often get called ‘complicated’ or ‘difficult’ as a dig, and this is usually contrasted with a compliment to men as being ‘simple creatures.’
While there may be strains of reason and overlapping strands of context from the biological to social that are responsible for the vast difference in the behaviours of men and women, this article will not attempt to go into it. Rather, it aims to reclaim a sentiment meant in a negative light, put a spin on it in celebration of women’s full humanity, and encourage every woman to do the same.
Attempts to portray women’s capability for a range of emotions are nothing more than an indictment of a simplistic mind. No one who is human is perfect or made up of clear-cut attitudes neatly tucked into a box of a body. Women are emotional because humans are. And these emotions could be channelled logically or otherwise, for positive or for good. Thriving as best as flawed humans can be.
Women’s ‘complexity’ helps them not only to be rounded individuals but also to be great community builders. They keep traditions alive and rear the next generation. From brunches to reading goals, they set trends and terms for pop culture. Through their love of extravagance, they redefined the parameters of cultural fashion, spreading them across borders. For the women who are more reserved yet possess a vibrant, rich inner life, they created sociocultural terms (e.g., thought daughter) to capture the reflective, exhilarating myriads of women’s experiences.
So what if you ‘don’t know what you want?’ So what if you’re not certain about the paths you want to tow? So what if you go over and beyond to make memories and preserve special occasions? So what if you love difficult but honest conversations? So what if you value a faithful but spontaneous relationship? So what if you love living in the moment, doing and wearing what you want? So what if you are assertive and do not let disrespect from colleagues slide? You have nothing to be apologetic for.
Isn’t it laughable that the proponents of the misogynistic school of thought which derisively mock women for being ‘emotional’ also champion the depth of women’s feelings as proof of divinely ordained gender roles that every woman should embrace? Yet, at other times, they claim such a sentimental quality also makes women repulsively one-dimensional. Women should be feminine until they engage in femininity and become shallow. Women are emotional until a woman expresses emotions, and it becomes a ‘turn-off’ and is used as a point to reinforce women’s supposed ‘inferior state to men’.
These unsurprising ‘double-speaks’ should certainly faze no woman. The most important thing is to be true to oneself, regardless of whatever ‘gender’ box it fits or doesn’t fit into and no matter what criticism it raises.
Whatever shape, form, body, or expression, women should embrace their personalities wholeheartedly and wear them like hearts on their sleeves. The world will accommodate and adjust to them. You do not need to tailor, repress, or erase a part of your personality just to satisfy criticism of women being extra.
