Summary
Empowering girls' voices is crucial in breaking societal silence, dismantling gender biases, and ensuring that women of tomorrow can freely express themselves, pursue their ambitions, and challenge systemic oppression.
She is an inspiration to many, as she was shot at 15 for using her voice to preach education for girls and won a Nobel Peace Prize at 17 for using that same voice. Her bravery, zeal for education, and voice almost cost her life. It’s a shame she had to experience such violence to earn the right to sit in a classroom. Every girl deserves that right without taking a bullet to the head.
“If we can’t speak, why live?” are the words of women interviewed in Afghanistan, living under a notoriously misogynistic regime. Today, it is forbidden for women to speak – The Taliban has banned women’s voices in public spaces, excluded women from schools, and even outlawed conversation between women. But this is no surprise to the citizens. Every two hours, a woman dies of childbirth. 90% of women admit to experiencing domestic violence, according to the WHO.
In fact, recent restrictions set by the Taliban on women will increase child marriage by 25%, an already prevalent issue for girls in the nation. Lastly, the amount of honour killings of women by their own relatives or spouses is quite worrisome. All these things continue without a single female voice to speak for women in government. These horrific events, being the norm, have led to women being relegated to second-class citizens. After being metaphorically silenced, it’s only a matter of time before it’s literal, as in this case. In this article, I will be emphasising how society silences women metaphorically because, until that changes, the cycle continues. As a result, we would fail to empower the voices of our girls, who are tomorrow’s women.
Academically, less than 30 per cent of researchers today in science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM) careers are women, as reported by UNESCO. On top of that, women in science often go unnoticed. Their stories are not told and, therefore, not heard. I’m certain we’re all familiar with Albert Einstein, the famous physicist and mathematician. I’m not so sure we are with wife Mileva Marić, an equally cerebral physicist and mathematician. She’s said to have contributed immensely to his early work. Yet, she goes widely unnoticed. Thomas Edison, Benjamin Franklin, and Nikola Tesla are famous names in science and inventions. But Hedy Lamarr doesn’t ring a bell to many. She was not only a Hollywood actress but also a pioneering inventor whose work influenced the development of the Wi-Fi, GPS, and Bluetooth we use today; inventor by day, actress by night. There’s also Ada Lovelace, the first ever computer programmer, who was also a writer. And who says women can’t do it all?
Politically, there is a similar narrative. Funmilayo Ransome-Kuti was majorly known for being the mother of the talented Fela Kuti and the first Nigerian woman to drive a car. Even in the Nigerian curriculum, that was usually the highlight of her achievements. I became familiar with her impressive political work rate after researching. She led major women’s protests, advocated for women’s rights to vote, pushed for women to be in power, and even participated in the Nigerian independence movement significantly. I never knew Nigeria had someone of a “founding mother,” too. With its catchy alliteration, just the founding fathers are spoken about for the most part. In eastern Nigeria, we also had the brave Women of Aba who stood up to fight for their voices in government and made history in 1929.
When Oby Ezekwesili attempted to run for the president of Nigeria, too many people were focused on her gender being an issue. Some even went as far as using religion and culture to justify it, saying, “Women aren’t the head of families” and “Women aren’t supposed to dominate over men”. One would begin to wonder if intelligence, leadership, and creativity are contained in XY chromosomes. With Kamala Harris running for the president of the United States, I observed a similar narrative.
In addition, many hammered on unfounded rumours of her “sleeping to the top” while ignoring her respectable track record in government and years as an attorney serving the country. Today in Nigeria, it is almost like we’re regressing when it comes to the representation of women in governance. Natasha Akpoti-Uduaghan, a senator, is currently at loggerheads with the Senate president over having her motions blocked from being heard on the floor of the House. Simultaneously, Mojisola Meranda of the Lagos state House of Assembly just resigned as the speaker of the House barely 6 weeks after being sworn into office. She was the first woman to hold the prestigious position, yet she was locked out of her office. The silencing, bullying and erasure of women and their efforts in the Nigerian political sphere is rather discouraging, and we have a long way to go in looking past gender and focusing more on potential.
“We teach girls to shrink themselves, to make themselves smaller. We say to girls, “You can have ambition, but not too much. You should aim to be successful, but not too successful; otherwise, you would threaten the man…” These famous words by the Nigerian writer Chimamanda Adichie depict what several young women in Nigeria experience. It is not uncommon for young female graduates to be discouraged from furthering their education or pursuing their careers to focus on finding a husband and starting a family. Nigerian culture teaches women to see being someone’s “Mrs.” and mother as the pinnacle of womanhood.
Women can be that and much more. And if one chooses to be otherwise, it doesn’t make her less of a woman. With what we say to girls, as Chimamanda describes, female potential is stifled. As a result, female voices are silenced. It’s telling women that their achievements all mean nothing without a ring or particular label. That’s also why some women have no ambition, aspirations, or self-development; they just wait for a “prince charming” to rescue them from singleness or unemployment. To me, that is very unrealistic. Especially in this economic terrain, every adult should be focused on having something beneficial going on for themselves instead of being dependent on someone else who may not always be there to provide.
Lahle Wolfe, a business advisor for women, says that “challenges in the form of discrimination for women begin in childhood as young girls may be brought up to believe that they are only suited for certain professions or, in some cases, only to serve as wives and mothers.” Traditionally, women are usually forced into submission, basically telling them that they don’t have a say. It saddens me how people use religion and culture to enforce some extreme and unfair conditions on us. The average Nigerian has a religious and cultural upbringing and orientation. And when it comes to how we see gender, women are often on the losing end and unfairly excluded from society and culture. Globally, there are different cultures with their different restrictions based on gender: not allowed to attend some meetings, not allowed to be around people when menstruating, not allowed to speak in public, not allowed to choose her husband, not allowed to have a say in their own homes, the list goes on.
The subjugation and silencing take different forms across the globe. I think Chimamanda addressed this perfectly again when she said: “Culture does not make people. People make culture. If it is true that the full humanity of women is not our culture, then we can and must make it our culture.” Only once we acknowledge the full humanity of women can our voices be that of humans and not “bitter, angry feminists” when real issues affecting us as women are raised in discussions.
Career-wise, women aren’t left out of this misogynistic concept. More often than not, people don’t see past beauty and aesthetics with women. Women are more like mannequins and not humans oftentimes, which gives rise to the school of thought that says “women should be seen and not heard”. Tems and Billie Eilish, two singers with undeniable talent, talked about how they dressed the way they did to avoid being sexualised and being taken seriously in the music industry. That is, stifling creativity in fashion to get respect. Picking at women for how they look and not what they can do. That’s why we have the Western alternative of the “dumb blonde” trope. In 2023, Hilda Baci rose to fame by beating the World Record for marathon cooking, a highly skilled and equally beautiful lady. She told us in interviews that part of her motivation for beating the world record was because people didn’t take her seriously just because of her captivating appearance. So many intelligent and talented women are often reduced to just a “beautiful face” or “hot body” while ignoring the value they have to offer as if beauty and brains or potential are mutually exclusive.
It is no surprise that plenty of women don’t have a say or input in how their personal lives are run as adults. We often are placed under the authority of a man, be it a father or husband. Sometimes, even brother or son, like the male guardianship system in Saudi Arabia. A similar principle applies in some African cultures, where women are under the authority of any male in the family, regardless of seniority. Widows may be “inherited” by the brother of her late husband while not inheriting anything for herself. Not being in control of your own life as an adult is so bizarre. These are among the many ways we silence women in society. A single woman can say, “I want my tubes tied,” and be asked, “What if your future husband wants children?” giving a hypothetical person more control over your body than the owner. Furthermore, that’s another thing that we need to discuss. When women speak up, do we listen? In other words, if you’re talking to me and I’m not listening, there is no conversation. Therefore, no communication.
Still, on the medical side, the word hysteria today doesn’t exactly mean what it did at first. It comes from the Greek word for uterus, “hystera.” Hysteria was initially the name of a wrongly perceived behavioural and psychological illness that affected women because of a “wandering uterus”. It was believed that the uterus would move around the body and cause women to “act out of character”. And because of the lack of knowledge of female biology, women’s genuine pain and discomfort was dismissed as a mental disease – trivialising their pain and ignoring their health concerns.
Centuries later, we still have the same issue, especially for black women. Black women are three to four times more likely to die from pregnancy complications than white women in the US due to neglect and racism. Serena Williams reports almost losing her life after the birth of her daughter. She spoke up about her symptoms and was initially dismissed. She is lucky to be with us today. Being ignored when we speak up is costing our lives. Come to think of it, it’s only the people who live that can speak and have voices, which explains the despair of the Afghan women mentioned earlier. Women are less likely to be prescribed painkillers than men, even when they are experiencing similar levels of pain. 4 in 5 (84%) women in the UK don’t feel listened to by their healthcare professionals. It’s sad and dangerous when medical personnel who are meant to save our lives don’t listen to us in the first place.
Rape is the most underreported crime in the world. 63% of sexual assaults are not reported to police, and just 12% of child sexual abuse is reported to the authorities. A major reason why is victims being shamed and silenced if they try to speak up. Most female victims of completed rape (79.6%) experienced their first rape before the age of 25; 42.2% experienced the same before the age of 18 years. The majority of these cases do not get reported, and the few that do often don’t get justice either. In society, we capitalise on the silence and shame of girls. Especially when they are vulnerable, which is most unfortunate. Girls would be assaulted and then asked, “What were you wearing?”, “Why were you there?” “Did you drink?” before they are considered the “perfect victim”, implying that they deserve it if they don’t tick all the right boxes. In addition, without punishing the perpetrators accordingly. Families hushing girls for accusing another family member of sexual violation? Very common. They would rather have their daughters and sisters keep hush than have the family predator punished publicly to preserve an image at the expense of the safety of members of the same family.
I love it when feminists say, “We did not inherit the silence of our mothers.” That is a bold step in laying the foundation for the girls after us to be heard, acknowledged, seen, and understood. How can I hear someone that can’t even talk? Refusing to be silent like our predecessors is rebellious to the status quo. That’s why feminists and women’s rights activists are reduced to just being “noisemakers”. The littlest opposition starts the biggest changes, like the price of tea causing the American Revolution or that of bread with the French.
Legislation and the enforcement of laws to protect young girls is crucial. In 2012, the first International Day of the Girl Child focused on preventing child marriage. The United Nations Population Fund estimates that 1 in 3 girls in the developing world marry by age 18, and 1 in 9 marry by age 15. Approximately 650 million living women in 2018 were married before their 18th birthday. Worldwide, about 21% of girls are married in childhood. That’s 12 million underage girls every year. 76% of girls in Niger are married before the age of 18 as well, which is jarring to say the least. Child marriage is largely illegal in most of the world today but persists because of no enforcement of the law. No region is on track to meet the Sustainable Development Goal target of eliminating this harmful practice by 2030, according to UNICEF. Essentially, we still have a long way to go. Being forced into marriage is an extreme disservice to young girls and one of the most extreme ways they are silenced, as it often impedes on their education, careers and aspirations.
Women like Dora Akunyili, Funke Akindele, Ngozi Oknjo-Iweala, and Funmilayo Kuti are a few Nigerian role models that women look up to today for their feats. This is thanks to their refusal to be silenced as women. Their refusal to conform. So, in fact, maybe good girls don’t get the corner office. But I wish there were many more women across many more sectors with such powerful and influential voices for Nigerian young ladies to look up to. And I wish women weren’t so demonised for daring to speak up or be different.
As parents, it is imperative to give daughters a platform to express themselves. To be who they want to be without the limitations of gender expectations. Give your little girls a say in their clothing. Don’t force your teenagers to follow your career path. Allow women to speak their truth. Spend time with your aged mothers and hear their stories. Never tell any girl she’s too opinionated for her gender. Stop telling inquisitive and opinionated young girls that they “talk too much.” Allow girls to think for themselves and see the world with their own eyes for what it is to them. Stop telling your little girls they can’t do something just because they’re girls. That has no genuine, valid justification except for gender bias.
“I grew up in a world that told girls they couldn’t play rock ‘n’ roll.” – Joan Jett. Now, she has made a name for herself in music, being in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Again, the way we police women and girls impedes their potential. The concept of the glass ceiling – the professional barrier against women – should be eradicated. It equally impedes the potential of women attempting to level up in their careers. We must throw out that “less than” mentality for anything feminine. From homemaking to nursing, we need to stop associating what is predominantly done by women as inferior. Saying you’re doing something “like a girl” or “talking like a woman” has negative connotations, which irritates me to hear. It has to change. We need to give girls the space to embrace who they are without shame or hindrance.
A social experiment with children was done, in which a lady made salty jelly and shared it with the children to see their reaction to the horrid taste. The girls in the group said, “Wow, this is some good jelly,” majorly, and just one said,
“Well, it could be better” to not hurt the lady’s feelings. Meanwhile, the boys went “This is the worst jelly ever!” almost immediately. Right from when we can establish social interactions, girls are taught to be more empathetic and maybe even tell white lies to avoid hurting feelings. Girls should be taught to be expressive and honest as well. Of course, no need for unnecessary rudeness, but to be assertive and truthful. And this should go for both genders. I have always been the type to speak my mind and my truth the way it is. My gratitude goes to my parents for allowing me to be the person growing up and listening to me and my long monologues on whatever the topic may be. It’s important to teach girls to take a stand with things and to know their values instead of teaching them to be the “palatable” and conforming version of women that society likes. Because that version doesn’t always have a mind of her own, so she can’t always think for herself but can be easily manipulated and taken advantage of. Alexander Hamilton let us know this when he said, “Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.”
Nigeria’s national anthem in the second stanza asks for God’s help in building a nation where peace and justice reign. But women being silenced is an injustice to us. Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere, as said by Martin Luther King Jr. In the wise words of Hafsat Abiola, daughter Moshood Kashimawo Abiola and Kudirat Abiola of blessed memory, “Any society that silences its women has no future.”
As the CEO and president of the Women in Africa Initiative, her work gives African women a platform for entrepreneurship. We need similar initiatives across all sectors for women to thrive. The Economist tells us why nations that fail women fail. This may also supported by the fact that the most gender-equal countries also happen to be the happiest countries, like Iceland, Finland, Sweden and Norway. To conclude this point, Thomas Sankara, the Burkinabè revolutionary and former president, was right when he said, “Comrades, there is no true social revolution without the liberation of women.” We cannot experience progress unless all hands are on deck, including that of women in important pillars of nations and societies.
Lois Frankel says, “Nice girls never get the corner office,” and Laurel Ulrich tells us that “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” There is also a comical phrase that goes,
“The girl is good, ode l’on je be,” meaning good girls are taken for fools. What this shows is that young women wanting more for themselves has been taboo. That women with big aspirations are wayward and not the cultural norm. That women who dare to be different are problematic. That opinionated women with voices are nuisances. I call on women to carry out some introspection and unlearn the self-sabotaging things we do for womanhood. Generational cycles can only change if one person stops it in the lineage. We owe it to ourselves and to our daughters after us.
Chimamanda once said, “‘Because you’re a girl’ is never a reason for anything. Ever”. She gives so much insight into many things that adolescent girls need to hear when developing an identity and life path. I have adopted this mindset myself, and it has gone a long way for my confidence and life choices, regardless of traditional gender expectations. Sometimes, it’s hard to observe gender bias because it has always been part and parcel of society. However, we should raise children to be well-rounded individuals in spite of that because the world is moving on, and we may be left behind. Maybe one day, people will not see gender the way people say they don’t see colour when on the subject of discrimination.
“Today’s girls are tomorrow’s women – and leaders.” Isabel Allende. Tomorrow’s women will carry on harmful concepts and repeat dangerous cycles if we don’t stop them with girls today. If you ask me, empowering their voices would be our best foot forward in the change we seek.
