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Summary
Adulting is the chaotic balancing act of managing responsibilities, expectations, and personal growth. This guide offers practical tips on thriving in the messiness of adult life, such as embracing imperfection, setting boundaries, and investing in your future self.
Let’s be real for a second. Adulting is like walking into a crowded market with no list, and no clue where anything is, and somehow, you’re expected to figure it all out and get it done in an hour.
One moment, you’re trying to remember whether you paid the electricity bill, and the next, you’re contemplating if rice can be dinner for the third time this week (the answer is yes, by the way).
For women, adulting comes with several layers: balancing cultural expectations, societal pressures, and personal growth while making silent mental notes to avoid losing yourself in the mix.
Adulting doesn’t come with a manual, but here’s the thing—you’re not alone. We all have those moments of staring at our to-do list, wondering if this is the week we finally become organised, composed, and thriving adults.
But here is the thing: adulting is messy and unpredictable. It often involves pretending you know what you’re doing when, really, you’re making it up as you go. And guess what? That’s okay.
Starting 2025 fresh, this guide will help you get ahead of the chaos so that you not only survive but thrive.. So, let’s dive into some real-life hacks for hacking adulting. And trust me, these aren’t the standard “make a budget” tips. We’re going deep.
- Normalise ‘Soft Life,’ But Prioritise the Hustle
You’ve probably heard about the soft life movement—living stress-free, indulging in cosy brunches, spa days, and just living life at a relaxed pace. Yes, the soft life is fantastic, but let’s keep it real: the hustle is what pays for that luxury. You can absolutely enjoy a slow Saturday at your favourite café, but you’ve also got to be the “wake up at 5 a.m. and grind” woman when it counts.
Your hustle fuels your soft life, and finding that balance is key. It’s all about knowing when to switch gears between work mode and chill mode. No one’s saying you can’t enjoy downtime, but that’s only guilt-free if you’ve handled your business. So, ensure those KPIs are checked off, the emails are sent, and the goals are set, then enjoy that mani-pedi without any stress.
Hack: Get a calendar—yes, it’s that simple. You don’t need anything fancy; your phone works just fine. Block off time for your hustle, whether that’s your 9 to 5, side projects, or personal goals, and equally, block out time for your soft life moments. Extra points if you set aside flex money in your budget for fun, too!
And honestly, you’ve got to admit, there’s something terrific about saying, “Let me check my calendar,” when someone asks to hang out. This way, you get the best of both worlds without the burnout.
- Say Goodbye to Perfectionism—Done Is Better Than Perfect
One of the hardest lessons adulting throw at you is this: perfectionism is the ultimate productivity killer. Waiting until everything’s flawless before you move can leave you stuck; honestly, nobody has time for that. You don’t need all the answers or a perfect plan before you start—just start. Trust me, good enough is actually good enough.
Trying to make everything 100% perfect leads to those days where you stare at your to-do list, overthink, and get nothing done. Let go of the idea that every little detail has to be flawless. It’s better to have something finished than something perfect that never leaves the draft stage.
Hack: For every task, give yourself a 90% goal. This doesn’t mean doing sloppy work—far from it.
It’s about knowing when something is good enough to move forward. And here’s the secret—most people won’t even notice the difference. Save yourself the headache and move on to the next thing.
- The Art of Saying ‘No’ Without Guilt
Girl, let’s be real—so many of us were raised to be the ultimate caretakers. Always there for everyone, fixing problems, being the go-to emotional support, and sometimes even the overworked employee who never says “no” to that extra task.
But honestly, where does that leave you? Burnt out, stretched thin, and wondering why you always feel exhausted.
Here’s the tea: mastering the art of saying ‘no’ is non-negotiable. It’s not just about setting boundaries with others but about protecting your peace. When you start saying ‘no’ to things that don’t align with your priorities, you free up energy and time for the things (and people) that truly matter to you.
Hack: Start small. The next time someone asks you to do something that feels like one more thing on your already full plate, hit them with a soft “no.” Something like, “I’d love to help, but I’m already juggling a lot right now.” It’s polite but firm. And honestly, the more you practice, the easier it gets. Before you know it, saying ‘no’ won’t feel like a big deal—and you won’t feel guilty about it.
- Self-Compassion Is a Must
When discussing self-care, we often picture spa days, facials, and dinner at our favourite restaurant. But real self-care? That’s self-compassion. Adulting is a mess sometimes; you’ll miss deadlines, make mistakes, and feel like everything you touch is falling apart. And that’s normal!
Here’s something that is not said enough: you’re doing your best, and that’s more than enough. Stop comparing your behind-the-scenes to someone else’s highlight reel. The friend who seems to have it all figured out? She’s struggling, too, just in different ways.
We’re all in this messy journey together; the best gift you can give yourself is a little grace.
Hack: Create a simple self-compassion ritual. Maybe it’s a daily journal entry where you write down one thing you’re proud of or a moment where you remind yourself it’s okay to take breaks.
Whenever you feel overwhelmed, pause and tell yourself, “I’m doing enough, and I’m allowed to rest.” Small moments like that will help you grow without the constant pressure to be perfect.
- Don’t Have One Tune, Be a Whole Playlist
You know that one song you love—the one you’ve had on repeat? It hits every time, right? But girl, listen to it non-stop, and soon enough, you’ll be skipping it because it’s just too much.
That’s the same with life—you can’t stick to one thing forever, even if it’s great. Switching it up is vital; otherwise, you’ll get tired and worn out, and that’s no fun. Sometimes, we feel we need to fit into one specific box—whether it’s being the perfect employee, the always-there friend, or the responsible daughter.
But girl, life’s not a uniform, and you don’t have to choose just one role. The real power is in being multifaceted. One day, you’re career-focused; the next, you’re the life of the party; and some days, you’re just binge-watching Netflix in your PJs. All of that is you, and that’s what makes you unstoppable.
Hack: Every month, check in with yourself. Ask, “Am I playing the right tunes for all parts of my life?” Stop trying to mould yourself into one “type” of girl. Instead, explore different sides of who you are. Have different friendships for different vibes—your work friends, your party crew, and your deep, meaningful soul circle.
Mix it up, and let yourself grow into every version of you. It’s not about being one thing; it’s about embracing everything that makes you unique. Don’t be afraid to hit shuffle on your life and see what new experiences come up.
- Build Your Personal Board of Directors
Yes, you’re strong, independent, and can handle your business independently. But honestly, you don’t always have to.
Sometimes, adulting gets hard, and the best move you can make is to surround yourself with people who really get you. Whether it’s your group of girls, your family, or that mentor who always gives the best advice, having a solid support system is priceless when life gets overwhelming.
One friend might be your financial guru, another could help you with career moves, and maybe your sister is your go-to for relationship advice. Having these different voices in your life makes adulting so much easier.
Hack: Don’t wait until you’re drowning to reach out to your circle. Keep your relationships strong by checking in just because. Maybe it’s a random voice note, a quick coffee catch-up, or sharing a funny meme that reminds you of them.
It’s about staying connected in the little moments, so those connections are already there when life gets heavy. And don’t just be a taker—give back, too. Be the friend who listens when they need to vent or the one who celebrates their wins. It’s a two-way street; the more you invest in your personal board, the more support you’ll have when it really counts.
- Declutter Your Digital Life
We all know how great it feels to clean out your closet or organise your space, but have you ever thought about decluttering your digital life? Those never-ending notifications, overflowing inboxes, and a million tabs open can seriously mess with your peace of mind. Your phone and laptop shouldn’t feel like another thing you need to manage—they should work for you, not against you.
Hack: Schedule a mini-weekly digital detox. Take just one hour a week to clean things up. Unsubscribe from all those newsletters you never read (seriously, how did you even sign up for half of them?), clear out apps you haven’t touched in months, and organise your inbox.
It doesn’t have to be perfect, but trust me, you’ll feel much lighter when your digital space is as clear as your head. Plus, it’s way easier to find things when you’re not buried in digital clutter!
- Learn to Use “Temptation Bundling”
We all have those tasks that make us groan—like cleaning, catching up on that side hustle, or dragging yourself to work out. It’s the stuff you know you should do, but somehow you keep putting it off.
Well, here’s a little trick: temptation bundling. It’s where you pair something you actually enjoy with something you dread so you can get through the boring stuff without feeling like it’s a chore.
Hack: Combine something you love (like bingeing your favourite show or listening to a juicy podcast) with something you’d rather avoid (like folding laundry or working on that project you keep postponing). This hack makes the boring stuff much easier to get through, and before you know it, you’ve made progress without even realising it.
- Prioritise ‘Connection’ Over Networking
We often hear that networking is the key to professional success, but here’s the thing—genuine connections will take you further. It’s not about collecting business cards or LinkedIn contacts; it’s about building meaningful relationships that bring mutual value. You don’t need a million contacts; you need real ones.
Hack: Shift from networking to connecting. Next time you meet someone, forget the formalities. Ask them about their passions, find common ground, and be honest. Don’t just think about what you can get out of the relationship—look for ways to add value, too.
Those little gestures build trust, whether it’s sharing advice or helping them connect with someone else. Trust me, when the foundation is solid, career opportunities will follow naturally.
- Build a Life Buffer
Life can be unpredictable. Sometimes, it’s the fun kind, like spontaneous weekend plans, and more often than not, it’s unexpected challenges like a plan falling through, an unexpected bill, or a project that takes way longer than you thought. This is where a life buffer comes in. It’s your safety net for when things don’t go as smoothly as planned, whether that’s time, money, or just extra mental energy.
Hack 1: Build a buffer in your time and energy. Leave a 10-15% cushion in your schedule so you’re not packed to the brim. This means not planning every second—allowing for some flexibility gives you room to breathe when things don’t go exactly as planned. Even mentally, give yourself permission to step back and recharge when things get too much. That buffer will keep you grounded when life throws you off course.
Hack 2: Build a financial buffer. Set up a monthly automatic transfer to your savings or investment account—because if you don’t see it, you won’t be tempted to spend it. This way, you’re quietly building a financial cushion in the background without even trying. When unexpected expenses pop up, you’ll have peace of mind knowing you’ve got your back covered. And trust me, in the future, you will thank you for it!
- Create Rituals, Not Just Routines
Routines are helpful, sure—but rituals? They’re what keep you grounded. A routine can sometimes feel like you’re just going through the motions, but a ritual adds meaning and makes even the smallest task feel intentional. Whether it’s your morning tea, skincare routine, or those few minutes before bed, turning these into rituals allows you to slow down and be really present in the moment.
Life can get busy—we’ve all got deadlines, family commitments, and endless to-do lists. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the pressure to build those big, life-changing habits, like starting a daily workout or reading more.
Hack: Turn what you’re already doing into something meaningful. For example, when you’re having your morning tea or coffee, don’t rush it. Pause, savour the taste, and let it be a peaceful moment before your day begins.
Even as you prepare for bed at night, make it your own little ritual of reflection, letting go of the day’s stress. These small rituals are your moments to reset without feeling like you have to add another overwhelming “task” to your day.
- Your Future Self Deserves the Best—Invest in Her Now
The ultimate adulting hack? Always look out for your future self. She’s the one who’ll benefit from the decisions you make today. Whether it’s saving money, taking care of your health, or investing in new skills, everything you do now will make her life much better.
We’re surrounded by pop culture, flashy cars, designer clothes, and picture-perfect moments flooding your Instagram feed. But beyond all the curated aesthetics, here’s the real deal: invest in what actually enriches your life. Focus on the actual experiences, Or, as they say, do it for the plot.
Experiences shape you in ways material stuff can’t. Take that solo trip to Ghana, sign up for that pottery class, or even try something small, like an art workshop you’ve been eyeing. You’ll build confidence, discover new things about yourself, and create memories that last way longer than the buzz from a new handbag. Also, next time, during that hangout, drop your phone and make memories.
Hack: Every time you’re about to make a decision, ask yourself, “Will future me thank me for this?” If the answer is yes, go for it. If it’s a no, maybe rethink. This slightest mindset shift can help you make wiser choices—not just for today but for years down the line.
Whatever your next steps are, don’t wait for January to start planning. Create a vision board for 2025. No, seriously—put your goals somewhere you can see them daily. Visualisation has power, and it keeps you grounded and focused on your long-term plans, even while juggling the everyday hustle.
Set yourself up for success now so that when 2025 arrives, you’re already ahead of the curve.
And remember, you’re allowed to stumble, make mistakes, and take detours. The important thing is to keep moving forward, embracing both the hustle and the joy of building a life you’re proud of. Whenever you doubt yourself, just remind yourself—you’ve got this.
This story was first published on The21mag.
