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Summary
Misconceptions are peddled against feminists as a way to disregard their message. From accusations of hating men to hypocrisy, the article debunks them and reaffirms the purpose of feminism.
It is apparent that the message of gender equality and liberation of women from oppressive patriarchal norms rattle men. For that reason, it serves the purpose of their resistance to peddle untruths about feminism and the women who champion it, hoping that it will deter other women from being feminists or stop the movement from making significant progress.
It is worth mentioning that there is not one logical argument against feminism. Whatever ‘problems’ may be pointed out ‘in’ feminism arise from individual actions or inactions, from the micro- to macro-scale. Or just plain old economy, as Karl Marx stated: ‘The history of all hitherto existing society is the history of class struggles.’ Because the world has been built to operate on some ‘haves’ and women historically have been denied these ‘haves’, it is an easy but dishonest attempt to cast feminism as the cause of any adverse state women may be in.
Misconceptions are perpetuated against feminists in a bid to ridicule them in the absence of any strong point against feminism as a principle. These misconceptions are usually ad hominem arguments (ones attacking the messenger and not the message they bear), and they are so common because feminism cannot be faulted as it is. The characters of feminists, instead, are scapegoated and bastardised to discredit what the movement represents.
This media literacy week, it is essential that you learn the myths about feminists so that you can resist them.
5 Myths About Feminism
- Feminists hate men
This is one enduring accusation that feminists have faced for as long as feminism has existed across society. However, to accuse feminists of hating men is shifting the burden of wrongdoing and the responsibility of rightness. Misogyny which is a prejudice/hatred against women raging from rape to upholding patriarchy and sexism is collectively perpetuated by men.
However, what feminists do is highlight conversations about consent, sexual agency, rape culture, male violence, and mutual respect towards ensuring that men and the society in the collective do not hurt women. To say men should not rape women, among other advocacy, is not an expression of hate, it is a call to aid in ensuring a just society, one where women are not constant victims of men’s actions.
- Feminists are heart-broken women without lovers
Coming up after ‘man-haters’ is the myth of feminists being bitter women. It is a ‘cluster’ myth that is directed at the love life of feminists viz a viz their attractiveness on the conventional beauty scale. This is one myth that is so unserious it almost feels comical to respond to.
Anyone past the adolescence stage has likely been in a relationship, and in the dating market, breakfasts, as we say in Nigerian parlance, are a ‘general market’. Male cheating on women in romantic relationships is a socially acceptable norm. Women who have been the brunt of emotional hurt from men, thereby advocating for a change in male behaviour, is a valid form of activism.
Feminists are not necessarily subjected to these, but they can be. Also, a person’s outlook on life results from their background, and feminists who come from happy and healthy homes or romantic relationships exist. That could very well be the basis of their activism.
In addition, a conventionally attractive woman is not treated as having more or equal worth to a man, and neither is she spared of misogynistic attitudes in the larger society, so the fight for her rights bears no correlation to her looks, age, or how feminists look.
- Feminists dislike stay-at-home moms
No, they do not. Feminists are critical of the expectation of motherhood from every woman and the roles expected of mothers in a family. Motherhood is presented as a paragon of personal attainment for women, and older women who have not given birth, either by choice or for reasons beyond their control, are seen as yet-to-be-completed in their humanity.
The idea of a ‘stay-at-home’ mom is entrenched in the patriarchal idea that women’s primary role should be childbearing and raising, while they don’t need to hold careers in society. Meanwhile, the reverse is expected of men, even though many are also parents. Also, being a ‘stay-at-home’ mom poses significant potential risks to the livelihood of women in such settings, and these are what feminists highlight to help better women make informed decisions. Furthermore, the emotional and physical labour that goes into childcare and home-making, the larger share of which women bear, is one subject at the forefront of feminist discourses, and this is not out of aversion for mothers but as a condemnation of the unequal form of gender roles.
- Feminists are inept in personal upkeep and chores
Come on now. Let’s be serious here.
If it is not obvious at this point, it bears repeating– feminists are not some mythical creatures imbued with otherworldly abilities. Feminists are people. Your everyday neighbours, bank workers, and street cleaners, and their personalities are as diverse as nature allows. It is a lazy attempt to characterise all feminists as women who don’t care for their surroundings or hygiene or know how to cook, do dishes, or make a house beautiful. The aforementioned are individualistic traits or inclinations and have nothing to do with the belief in and fight for women’s rights.
The focus of feminism is the subject matter of women and their treatment in society. The prescription of gender roles for women, without consideration for personal expression, is what feminism calls into question. Raising young girls with the expectation that they will go on to marry and not raising them for self-sufficiency and independence in an evolving, complex world is what feminists stand against. The kitchen is not a ‘woman’s office,’ neither is sweeping not a ‘boy thing.’
- Feminists don’t walk their talk
Firstly, this misconception about feminists is contradictory, on an initial observation.
There are rights that feminists have secured for women all over the world. There are harmful practices against women and girls that feminists have also fought to get rescinded. Feminism is still a novel concept in most communities, and the rights women enjoy now are barely up to two hundred years. This is a testament to the tenacity of feminists and their commitment to actionable steps towards elevating women’s status in society.
If feminists were not walking the talk, women’s rights would not be a serious conversation in our social spaces, from the personal to the parliament. Naija Feminists Media was born out of the need to drive and shape conversations and policies concerning women’s rights in Nigeria.
Secondly, in the Nigerian context, this criticism fails to consider several socio-cultural factors. Research has shown that women’s empowerment is critical to economic development. Nigerian society has not only been misruled by years of male leadership but also set back by cultural values that dehumanize women. This reality poses a significant barrier to feminist organizing and is why Nigerian feminists use media for their activism.
Finally, there is also no one right way to be a feminist: the feminist who writes academic articles and the feminist who donates and protests on the street are meaningfully contributing to the advancement of feminism. The feminist who sponsors women to pursue a STEM career is just as valid as the feminist who uses her voice on social media. Social markers such as ethnicity, economic class, and age do not have any bearing on the validity of a feminist identity as well.
The only thing that counts as being a feminist is affirming the equality of women to men and work towards women’s liberation.
Naija Feminists Media is committed to fighting gendered disinformation and claims that impact women. Read more of our fact checks here.
