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Summary
With men also afraid of boarding a transport when it is filled with a group of other men, the writer narrates that women’s fear of men is valid. She further noted data and statistics on how men are more prone to violence than women. Resolving that although not all men are dangerous, it’s impossible to tell which isn’t.
On my way back from work, I saw a man walking behind me with a thick rope. The path was lonely, and it was just us. I slowed down and reached for my pepper spray immediately. He overtook me and saw how tense I was. Then he started laughing and later explained that I had nothing to fear as he was going to pick up his cow, which he grazed in one of the empty lands in the area. He kept it moving after the unsolicited explanation aimed at making me comfortable. I immediately opened my gate, ran inside my apartment, and locked my door.
Then I thought to myself, why are you being paranoid? Maybe he did not want to hurt you. That man is harmless! But how can I be so sure that he is harmless? Even the explanation he offered made me more scared. Maybe my head is lying to me, but statistics do not lie. Men are more prone to violence.
A study on violence according to gender reveals that “out of a total of 46,836 Nigerian youth recorded to be involved in different types of crime, 42,071 (representing 75.5 per cent) were male, while only 24.5 per cent were female.”
The next day, I stumbled on a post by theakorede, an X user (formerly Twitter), in which he explained he did not board a public bus because he saw five men inside.
Wow! Are men afraid of men, too? I am not paranoid, after all.
An X user, Iateyourdad79, had also asked, “If a man is scared of another man, what should we women do?”
The post which garnered over one million views, 1200 likes, 546 retweets, and 91 comments, had people sharing reservations about men as a collective while others interject raising concerns about “generalisation.”
Ekpereamaka Ike, a user, recounted how he had faked a phone call to avoid boarding a bus filled with men.
However, an X user, Anicetus Laura, claimed the poster is judgmental towards men. She wrote, “It’s not all men, nau. See how you judged all men because they were together. What if they’re brothers, uncles, or cousins? Oh! We need to stop generalising.”
Comments like Laura’s are typical when male violence is being discussed. First, men (fathers, husbands, uncles, cousins, etc.) killing women they know (mothers, wives, nieces, friends) is a common trend with over 108 Nigerian men killing women they affiliated with in 2024 alone. Also, while it is not all men, it is still always men.
So, how do women identify them before boarding a bus while working a lonely path while going about their normal day?
FBI 2017 crime clock shows that “a violent crime was committed every 24.6 seconds. A murder occurred every 30.5 minutes, a rape every 3.9 minutes, a robbery every 1.7 minutes, and an aggravated assault every 39.0 seconds. A property crime offence was committed every 4.1 seconds. A burglary offence occurred every 22.6 seconds, a larceny-theft every 5.7 seconds, and a motor vehicle theft every 40.9 seconds.”
Also, the aforementioned study by Owa-George Daniel Opeyemi showed that in many reported crimes males recorded 89.58 per cent while females recorded only 10.42 per cent.
Not all men! Men are protectors! But I have just 4.1 seconds or 30.5 minutes to decide if it’s all men or not.
