Summary
This report highlights the stories of two survivors, Lara and Mariam, who both faced immense pressure, from managing academic demands and childcare to enduring social stigma and judgment.
At the Federal University Oye-Ekiti, not all students have the same journey. While many focus on lectures, tests, and spending time with friends, some carry the responsibilities of motherhood. They have to deal with being a student, raising their kids, and managing criticism from other people.
“I Wanted to Give Up”
Adebayo Lara, 22, a second-year student at FUOYE, became pregnant before gaining admission. She got to know she was six months gone on getting to school.
Lara relates how attending lectures with her baby and belongings and dealing with criticism has been difficult for her.
“I had to stay awake many nights to care for my child. Sometimes I couldn’t focus during exams, and other times I missed classes,” she said.
According to her, her child’s father does not play a part, but her mom has been supportive. Despite this, there were moments she felt like giving up, especially because of criticism.
“I even thought of giving my baby away, but now, I can’t imagine life without her. She brings me joy,” Lara dreams of graduating, building a career, and creating a bright future for her little girl
“I Almost Took Poison”
Also, Ogunleye Mariam, 22, a 300-level student at FUOYE, has been a mother for two years and went through childbirth while she was still in school.
“After I got pregnant, some of my friends chose not to stay in touch with me. It felt very tough and isolated. I was afraid to admit anything to my parents. I couldn’t even face society,”
There were nights I cried and thought of giving up. There was one evening when I felt like taking poison. It was that serious,” she said with sorrow in her eyes. Even though she received acceptance from her roommates, friends, and fellowship pastor, other people harshly judged her. However, she did not let those words stop her.
She learned to balance schooling and caring for her daughter. She took on several small jobs to make money, though her family helped a little; she mostly had to depend on herself.
“I read self-help books which remind me that I could be a better person,” she said.
She wants people to stop judging single mothers.
“Some think single mothers are promiscuous or that no man will marry them. Others say we must go back to the man who got us pregnant, even if he’s not good for them. They think we are failures, but we are not,” she said.
What It is Like
For both Lara and Mariam, the hardest part of being a student mother is the emotional and physical stress. Lack of sleep, missing classes, and financial troubles are constant. But what hurts more is the judgment, the whispers, and the assumptions made by people.
Yet, they keep going. They carry their children with them to classes. They read what they can and try to keep up. But sometimes they cry when it becomes overwhelming.
What Needs to Change
Single student mothers in FUOYE and other schools need support. Things like flexible class timing for single mothers, counseling, and accommodating academic policies are possible supports. Most importantly, they need respect. They are not weak. They are not immoral. They are students, mothers, and women trying to make a good life for themselves and their children. Being a single mother does not mean someone is irresponsible or less worthy. Every student mother has a dream, and every child deserves a loving start in life.
Note:
The names of the individuals interviewed in this story have been changed to protect their identities. This decision was made to respect their privacy and safeguard them from potential social stigma or personal repercussions related to the sensitive issues discussed.
Editor’s note: This article was first published on nigeriagrassrootnews by Korede Badmus. #Korede Badmus is a fellow of the Africa Foundation for Young Media Professionals’ 2025 Women in Journalism, gender reporting media fellowship, and wrote this in fulfilment of her participation.
