Tools for Change: Chimamanda’s Dear Ijeawele Bold Guide to Unconditional Equality 

Summary: “Dear Ijeawele, by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie” examines the overlooked, yet accepted, patriarchal norms, all in the name of tradition and biology. Her private letter to a childhood friend becomes a blueprint that advises women on how to raise their daughters as feminists. 

For years, women and girls have always advocated, “I matter, I matter equally. ” They consistently resist the gendered roles that caged them. Yet, patriarchy prevails. To dismantle it from the inside, women now choose to raise their daughters to identify and oppose patriarchy even in its slightest form.

In Chimamanda’s “Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions,” she transforms a private letter to a childhood friend into a universal blueprint to advocate for female equality. She simply says, “Women and girls matter in all ramifications, and their agency belongs to them alone.”

Although the book emanates from a friend’s request on how to raise her daughter to be a feminist. Its sharp, unsentimental sentences serve as a practical guide that strips away the academic jargon of gender theory. It invites readers to see the overlooked forms of patriarchy and highlights two foundational feminist tools. The first is the unapologetic premise: “I matter. I matter equally.” The second is the reverse test— a mental exercise that asks if the same expectations, criticisms, or praise would be applied if the gender were swapped. These tools provide the reader with a compass to navigate a world that often masks inequality as tradition or biology.

Chimamanda’s suggestions are radical because they are so grounded. She dismantles the concept of feminism lite—the idea of conditional equality where men are allowed to lead, or women are praised for doing it all. She argues that motherhood should not be a woman’s sole identity. She urged Ijeawele to be a full person because her daughter would benefit more if the mother had her own ambitions.

Fundamentally structured to challenge the prevailing patriarchy that seeps into the veins of every member of society, Chimamanda advises girls to reject the need to be liked. She argued that this desire for universal approval often requires women to sacrifice their honesty and agency. 

In her eleventh suggestion, she boldly states, “Never speak of marriage as an achievement.” This advice represents a powerful rejection of the ‘feminism lite’ that she critiques throughout the book. She unapologetically emphasised that when marriage is presented as a pinnacle of achievement, it devalues the entirety of a woman’s being—her education, career, friendships, and personal growth. This perspective implies that an unmarried woman, regardless of her accomplishments, is somehow incomplete. Chimamanda pushes for a world where a girl aspires to be whole. She urged her friend to teach her daughter that she could be a wife, a mother, and a full person all at once. The emphasis is on internal fulfilment and purpose, not on securing a partner as a life validation. 

Critically, the book does not just speak to mothers of daughters; it also addresses the concerns of fathers and sons. It is an essential text for anyone interested in deconstructing the rigid gender roles and patriarchal society that the author describes as absolute nonsense. By advocating for a world where blue is not for boys and cooking is not a female skill, she promotes a future where children are seen as individuals rather than categories.

Truly, Dear Ijeawele is a slim volume more like a novella, but its weight is immense. It is a call to action that is both firm and compassionate. It provides effective ways to change the world through the small, daily choices we make in our homes and in our hearts.