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Summary
Fetish mining is a form of gender-based violence where someone is unknowingly involved in another person’s fetish for their sexual gratification, without full and informed consent. This practice is increasingly exposed with the rise of social media.
Fetish mining is as old as humans. However, the rise of social media can be credited with the digitisation of Gender-Based Violence (GBV), such that previously overlooked GBV has crept its way to the mainstream stage. Never-heard-of GBV is being given a name and coverage, and people often, but wrongly, credit their recent media coverage as the overdoing of woke culture on a not-so-serious affair.
Fetish mining is one of those GBV that was overlooked, but with the rise of social media, its presence has become so pronounced that even underage content creators are targets of fetish miners.
Fetish relates to an object of fixation that turns someone on, usually in a sexual way. Fetish shaming, as the name suggests, involves shaming someone for having a fetish. Fetish mining, on the other hand, is a form of GBV and sexual exploitation that involves an unsuspecting person in fetish-related activities without their knowledge.
Fetish mining is NOT fetish shaming because fetish mining deprives the target of their consent.
Note that consent might be sought. However, the requisite knowledge needed to make an informed decision is usually lacking, and consent must be full and informed.
While some fetishes raise red flags, like paedophilic or necrophilic fetishes, fetishes are not inherently a red flag. The way and manner in which one goes about satisfying their fetish (no matter how harmless the fetish is) can be a red flag, and that’s what brings us to the idea of fetish mining.
Fetish mining has to do with making another person engage in your fetish without their knowledge or by forcing or pressuring them to do so.
For instance, you fell in love with a man. He never informed you that he has a foot fetish, so he hid his fetish under the guise of being a good boyfriend who pays for his girlfriend’s pedicure, and then asks you to send pictures of your feet so that “he can see the work that was done on your feet.”
Now, he is not asking for that photo because he wants to appreciate the artistry of your nail technician, but for his sexual gratification. In this situation, that is fetish mining because it was done for his sexual gratification, without your full and informed consent.
In this particular scenario, note that:
And that brings us to the 5 CARDINAL NO of consent. We have heard so much about what consent is; now is the time to highlight what consent is not:
1. Consent cannot be given until it is full & informed.
2. Consent cannot be given under fear of sanction or deprivation, such as loss of earnings, promotion, career advancement, hostile living or work environment, retaliation, blackmail, deprivations of rights and privileges, etc.
3. Consent cannot be overstretched to include unenvisaged situations. Consent to kiss is not consent to have sex, consent to engage in oral sex is not consent to penetrate. One cannot unilaterally decide to take it without the concurrence of the other party.
4. Consent is true only for the purpose it is given. If Mr A pays for & requests to see Ms B’s pedicure pictures to appreciate the work done but uses it for foot fetish purposes, or if Ms A consents to sending her nudes to Mr B for his consumption and he distributed them to others not intended for, it is abuse notwithstanding that she willingly sent it. She only consented to it being used for her partner’s sex pleasure, not his friends, definitely not the whole world.
5. Consent is not given in infinity. Consent today does not amount to consent tomorrow and the days after.
And because fetish mining violates all these cardinal NO, it is abusive even if the fetish itself is harmless. There are fetish content creators online dedicated to that. However, fetish miners prey on the naivety of their targets, who are unaware of the true intent behind such requests.
How to spot fetish mining
1. Innocent yet out of place:
Normal request: “Can you explain how scuba diving equipment works?”
Fetish request: “Can you wear the scuba driving suit and tie your hair in a pigtail so it does not obstruct the back view and turn your back?”
2. Very specific & detailed requests: Imagine a show seller advertises her show and someone shows interest, only for the person to make a request, “Can you paint your nails red and wear a peep-toe show with a leg chain? It will enhance your views.”
“I will send you this beautiful pink dress that I think will look great on you. Can you wear it or tie up your hair in a ponytail, and meow? It will look cute on you.”
“I like that dress you are wearing. Can you take a picture of yourself in it and turn around so I can see the detailing behind before I buy it?”
Oftentimes, content creators, vendors and even celebrities are bombarded with fetish requests.
Things like these are also common in fan services rendered by K-pop idols to please fans.
Consent Coalition said, “No matter how they try to hide it, fetish requests will always sound out of place,” so you trust your instinct and watch out for it.
3. Repetitive and Obsessive requests: When they are not first timers, they may keep repeating certain words or concepts in the request.
Sometimes, they test the waters by making harmless requests, but as you indulge, they get more detailed, extreme, or prolonged.
4. Incongruent Tone: The request doesn’t match the usual vibe of the platform or story type, e.g., a Booktok content creator being asked to say certain words in a certain way.
5. Requests for Excessive Roleplay or “Hypotheticals.”
6. Evasive when questioned: If in doubt, ask questions. Fetish miners are usually evasive since they prey on the naivety or unawareness of their targets.
Conclusively, fetish mining need not be harmful. Nonetheless, they violate a person’s right to choose to participate or not to participate. Remember, every human is autonomous; no one deserves to be put in a position that compromises their autonomy.
This story was first published by: SheResonance
