#CollectiveActionNow: Grief under smile

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Umar Maryam Ayomide is a third-year law student at Usman Danfodio University Sokoto. She is also a poet, campus journalist, public speaker, and advocate for gender-based violence. In commemoration of International Women’s Day, Maryam shares her musings.

My mother hides her grief under her smile

I’ve watched so many times, pain hidden under the pretense of joy.

The first time I witnessed the repulsive sight 

Of my father’s fistful punches, his eyes held no guilt 

And mom, cowered into the pain.

What better way to assert dominance than to abuse a woman’s vulnerability? 

It makes me wonder if a man can express his anger with words.

Isn’t it said that a salty food can be unsalted with love? 

But in this story, my father inflict wounds instead 

Wounds that eats away the prime of mother’s youth 

The tears watering down her shiny glow 

I see it all, the pain beneath her warm smile.

I’ve come to believe grief is how a girl embraces womanhood 

If smiling through pain is what makes a woman 

I don’t ever want to be one 

This submission is in solidarity with NFM’s campaign on #CollectiveActionNow in commemoration of International Women’s Day.