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Olayemi ‘Toluwanisings’ Bolaji’s Death and Burden of Being Widowed in Nigeria

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 Akanbi Elizabeth Irawomitan, the spouse of late Nigerian gospel singer Olayemi Bayonile Bolaji, popularly known as Toluwanisings, has become the subject of fresh allegations following the circulation of a voice note in which an unidentified man accuses her and her husband’s manager of questionable conduct surrounding the singer’s death.

In the recording shared by Yabaleftonline on November 2, the speaker, who claims to be a neighbour, alleges that Toluwanisings was already dead inside his residence before he was brought outside. He disputes the account that the singer was taken to several hospitals in an attempt to obtain emergency medical treatment, further alleging that Elizabeth and the manager want to inherit the singer’s wealth. The speaker provides no verifiable evidence for these accusations. The original recording was shared by Yabaleftonline, while Intel Region published a report reproducing the allegations.

How it all started from verifiable accounts

Toluwanisings died in Ibadan, Oyo State, on October 14, 2026. In a video following his death, his personal assistant, Babadunni Gbolabo, recounted receiving a call about the singer’s collapse and rushing to the residence. He said attempts were made to revive Toluwanisings before he was taken to several hospitals. According to Gbolabo, between seven and eight hospitals were approached, but those accompanying the singer encountered difficulties obtaining treatment. The neighbour’s version of events directly challenges this account, particularly the claim that the singer was already dead before being brought out of the house. However, the voice note does not establish when Toluwanisings died, what happened inside the residence, or whether the people named by the speaker had any involvement in his death. 

A dispute over where to bury him has put his wife in the spotlight

The disagreement over Toluwanisings’ burial arrangements became public after his father, Muniru Adekunle Olayemi, spoke about his preferred burial plans in an interview published on October 25. In the interview, reported by QED, Olayemi said he wanted his son buried inside the house he had built in Ibadan. If that arrangement was not accepted, he proposed taking his remains to Ikirun, Osun State, to be buried beside his late mother. 

Olayemi said he contacted Akanbi Elizabeth Irawomitan after learning of his son’s death to discuss the arrangements. He claimed Elizabeth preferred a cemetery or church burial and objected to having her husband buried in the house where she lived because she would not be comfortable seeing his grave there.

“If they won’t allow him to be buried inside his house, they should bring him down to the village where his mother is and bury him beside her.”

The interview also covered the singer’s upbringing and his father’s account of their relationship. However, Elizabeth’s own explanation for preferring a cemetery burial was not included. The disagreement attracted public attention, with some social media users questioning Elizabeth’s position. Others raised concerns about the implications of burying Toluwanisings on the property where his wife and daughters live.

“We are watching a widow get bullied. The internet is used as a weapon”

The burial disagreement has also drawn responses from women in the entertainment and influencer space, several of whom have criticised the public pressure placed on Akanbi Elizabeth Irawomitan.

Media personality Nancy Umeh was particularly outspoken in her defence of Elizabeth. In a video shared on Instagram on October 29, Nancy described the situation as a widow being bullied by her late husband’s family, accusing relatives of using blogs and social media to pressure her into accepting their preferred burial arrangements.

“We are watching in real time a widow get bullied by her late husband’s family on the internet. The internet is being used as a weapon.” 

She also argued that Elizabeth, as the woman who shared a marriage and home with the deceased, should have a say in where he is buried. She also questioned why a disagreement that could have been handled privately had become a public spectacle, with relatives granting interviews and making demands online. 

She appealed and warned that the continued public attacks could cause further emotional harm to someone already grieving her husband. She also rejected the expectation that women should be responsible for repairing strained relationships between their husbands and their families.

Nollywood actress Mercy Aigbe also criticised the growing public attention surrounding the disagreement. In an Instagram story, she questioned why interviews and family disputes were being turned into online content when the singer’s wife and two young children were still mourning his death.

“A young man has died in his prime, leaving behind a grieving wife and two very young children,” she wrote, expressing concern that interviews conducted by bloggers were further fuelling tensions between the widow and her husband’s relatives. “Must everything become content? Must every family disagreement become public entertainment?” 

Mercy also urged bloggers and other content creators to stop turning the family’s private grief into public entertainment.

Actress Kudirat Ogunro, popularly known as Kudi Alagbo, also questioned the proposed home burial, drawing attention to the long-term implications for the singer’s children. She argued that burying someone in a residential property could create difficulties if the children eventually wanted to sell the house.

“What if the children grow up and decide to sell the house? Who wants to buy a house with a burial ground?” she asked, describing home burial as an arrangement that could create unnecessary complications for the family.

Widowhood in Nigeria: When Grief Comes with Accusations, Dispossession and Abuse

For many Nigerian women, losing a husband can mean losing more than a partner. 

Alongside the grief of bereavement, some are confronted with accusations surrounding their husband’s death, pressure from their in-laws, restrictions imposed through widowhood customs and disputes over property they may have spent years helping to build.  

A 2025 study published in the journal Violence Against Women, titled Violence Against Widows: An Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis of Harmful Widowhood Practices in Nigerian Communities, looked at the experiences of 12 women who had survived violent widowhood rites in Nigeria. 

Through individual interviews, researchers Richard Abayomi Aborisade and Lydia Isioma Chineyemba documented experiences involving intimidation, hostility, violence and prolonged mourning restrictions. The study also identified patriarchal beliefs as a factor in the continuation of practices that subject widows to abuse.

In some communities, women are expected to undergo mourning rituals that can include isolation, restrictions on movement, shaving of their hair and other degrading practices. Some are also expected to demonstrate their innocence when their husbands die, exposing them to suspicion and humiliation at a time when they should be allowed to grieve.

The treatment of widows is also reflected in the struggle over inheritance and property. The consequences of disinheritance can extend beyond the loss of property. A woman who suddenly loses access to the home she shared with her husband, her household resources or assets she helped acquire may also lose the financial stability needed to raise her children. This leaves women who are already dealing with bereavement having to fight for security and control over their own lives.

Nigerian Law vs Reality on Widow Treatment

The law does provide protections against discrimination. Section 42 of the Nigerian Constitution prohibits discrimination on the basis of sex, while Section 43 recognises every citizen’s right to acquire and own immovable property. In its 2014 judgment in Ukeje v. Ukeje, the Supreme Court declared unconstitutional a customary law that prevented female children from inheriting their father’s estate because they were women. However, that judgment concerned a daughter’s right to inherit from her father, not a widow’s entitlement to her deceased husband’s estate. 

The inheritance rights depend on the applicable succession law, the nature of the marriage, whether the deceased left a will and other relevant circumstances. These expectations placed on widows also differ from those commonly placed on widowers. In some Nigerian communities, particularly those documented in research on Igbo widowhood customs, mourning restrictions and ritual obligations are imposed specifically on women. A 2021 study published in the Nigerian Journal of Social Psychology wrote on these gender differences, documenting practices imposed on widows that are not traditionally required of widowers in the same way.

Women Exposed to Social Control even after Husbands’ Death

Women are disproportionately exposed to particular forms of social control after their husbands’ deaths, expectations about how they should mourn, questions about their innocence, interference from their husbands’ relatives and attempts to control property and inheritance. Toluwanisings’ death has brought some of these into public view. 

Akanbi Elizabeth Irawomitan’s disagreement with her husband’s family over his burial arrangements became grounds for public commentary about her love for him and her intentions. The controversial voice note went further, making unverified accusations that she wanted to inherit his wealth and suggesting that she was implicated in his death. A woman should not have to prove her love for her husband through the burial arrangements she accepts, nor should disagreement with her in-laws become grounds for accusations of criminal conduct. If there are legitimate questions about a death, they should be investigated by the appropriate authorities, not settled through speculation. Nigerian women should not have to navigate bereavement while defending their marriages, their integrity and their right to the homes and property they helped build.

Akanbi Elizabeth Irawomitan should be allowed to mourn her husband without having to defend every decision she makes or answer to allegations that have not been substantiated. Her disagreement with her husband’s family over his burial should never have become an invitation to question her love, character or intentions. Nor should a woman’s place in her marital home become negotiable simply because the man she married is no longer alive. Toluwanisings’ death should not become another occasion for a widow to be bullied into submission. 

Nigerian women deserve to grieve without intimidation, retain the homes and property they are entitled to, and make decisions about their families without being subjected to discriminatory customs or public harassment. Losing a husband should not mean losing your home, your voice and your right to live in peace.

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