“Women Are Sexual Beings,” Efe Plange Weighs in on Roby Ekpo’s Podcast Outburst

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Editor Note.: This piece was first published on Facebook

Summary: Efe Plange have challenged Roby Ekpo’s claims about his failed marriage, including mutual decisions about long-distance living and his ex-wife’s complaints of sexual dissatisfaction and emotional neglect.

I’m sure many of you have seen the videos circulating of a Nigerian Man (Roby Ekpo) lamenting the end of his marriage to (Mayowa Lambe), a situation that recently trended on social media. In them, he makes several allegations against his ex-wife, including claiming she was on contraceptives throughout their relationship, framing it as proof that she never intended to have his children.

But here’s what’s also been revealed: for six out of their eleven years together, they mutually agreed that she would move abroad to pursue permanent residency, making their marriage long-distance for a significant stretch. He describes himself as an exemplary husband: sending money, flowers, and gifts while she was away.

At the same time, screenshots of his ex-wife’s complaints have surfaced. She speaks about feeling sexually unsatisfied, emotionally neglected, and burdened with taking responsibility for his wrongs. When asked to respond to these claims, he largely dismissed or minimised them.

They asked him about the sexual satisfaction thing, and all he could say was she was always asking for sex, and she was never satisfied. The best he could do was twice a week, and he thinks it’s fair and okay that he cannot come and kill himself. 

And this is the very delusion we try to expose in toxic beliefs among men that they age like fine wine while women age like milk.

Again, it is the nonsense idea that men in their late thirties and forties are going to be able to properly satisfy women much younger than them because they think inexperience and naivety can trump biology. 

Men, get this into your skulls:

Women are sexual beings just like you. In fact, if not for how society centres men’s needs above women’s, and the centuries of problematic patriarchal religious teachings, we would know that women are actually probably more feral than men are. 

If you think you are going to be past your prime in age and agility, and a much younger woman is going to put up with mediocre sex for long, then you’re in for a rude awakening.

You do not age like fine wine; you also have biological clocks. Look into it. Because of lifestyle changes, you lot are the ones who need to be marrying and having kids much earlier. This guy got married at the age of 37 and is currently 48. 

How a heterosexual man who only desired sex twice a week believed that he was normal and there was nothing wrong with him needs to be studied. 

So, did you actually catch your wife on contraceptives or did your silly friends put that idea into your head to make you feel better about yourself and not worry about you possibly being sterile? 

The same wife who was begging you for sex and giving you concoctions to take to improve your sexual agility? He shared all this information himself, by the way.

Even if a woman is young, naive and inexperienced, that girl will eventually grow, mature and reach her sexual prime like most women do (unless their growth is interrupted by some kind of trauma or religious indoctrination). 

So that “kokontibaa” you went for thinking you can get away with your declining mortality, agility and ability, no, she will eventually grow and seek better. Stop deluding yourselves.

Finally, the fact that you were sending money, flowers and gifts does not mean she felt well-taken care of. One thing I’ve noticed about most men is that they like to decide for women what satisfaction, joy, happiness and fulfilment are without constantly checking with the said woman if it’s meeting her desires. 

The little things that thugs at a woman’s heart are rubbish to them, and they want to be appreciated and celebrated for the efforts they make that only serve their own egos.

There’s also a broader pattern here: how some men differentiate between “the woman they love” and “the woman they desire,” creating entirely separate standards of care, respect, and engagement without ever consulting the women involved: “I respect my wife too much to do certain sexual things with her.”

The sooner y’all understand that women are human beings with needs, wants, desires, preferences, and evolving aspirations and expectations just like you, the better relationships will be for everyone.