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Summary
In many divorce cases, women are denied their right to property. In this article, Dogo Joy educates women on how to successfully and legally own and retain their properties after divorce.
So many Nigerian women encounter during the course of divorce are grossly mistaken about what the law has to say about their property rights, and the effect of this is that they keep making compromises against their interests during the course of the marriage, thinking that the law protects them.
By the time the marriage has broken down, they discover too late because they’ve spent their youth labouring for nothing. Some Nigerian women even think that after divorce, they get 50% of their husband’s property. No, sister, you don’t, that happens in the US, not in Nigeria.
Upon divorce, there’s nothing like a 50/50 property split in Nigeria. During divorce proceedings, there is something called the settlement property. This is where the court divides your assets, both joint and separate assets. To be entitled to any assets, you must show that the asset is in your name or provide a receipt, or hard evidence of your financial contribution to the purchase of that asset!
You see how that works? What to do to increase your chances of acquiring properties while married. So what do you do as a woman to protect your property rights? I will be giving you a series of advice on different family law areas on how to improve your property rights as a (married) woman!
1. On working & splitting bills. Gather your own assets. Finish. “My husband is a landlord, so I am a landlady” is not legally true. If your husband asks you to quit your job, what provisions is he making for you? And I am not talking about the money he gives you every month to buy soup for the family, but the money he gives you for yourself?
If he says “I will pay you every month”, what legally written contract have you prepared, and is it binding? For many women, he ends up weaponising it. The month you do not bow to his will, he will not pay you, or he starts paying you for the first 3 months and then stops. Personally, I will advise you not to quit. Simple. In fact, make this clear during courtship that you’re not open to quitting and stand by it.
2. On asset acquisition & settlement of property. There is nothing like Mr & Mrs Adekunle Joshua. You have a name! Mrs is a title, not a name. The document for joint property should contain your full name, Mrs Sarah Adekunle & Mr Adekunle Joshua. Anybody can be Mrs Adekunle Joshua!
Any gift of a car, land, or business that is not in your name, you’re not the owner of that business! You are a worker building it for him (there are very, very few exceptions). Stop putting your husband’s name on your own personal asset. Stop giving your husband the money to buy land on your behalf. I’ve seen many men, but it’s in their own name! You’re a woman, you’re not disabled.
You can buy that land yourself. Get a lawyer and use licensed and trustworthy agents, not someone you picked on the street because you want to pay cheaply. Women dey buy land. Stop acting like womanhood is a disability. Stop acting confused. If a man can figure it out, you too can. Na, the same brain Una gets!
Get your own account and stop sending your salary into a man’s account or submitting it to him! Have your own personal/secret funds: All your finances shouldn’t go into a joint asset. It’s not everything you discuss over pillow talk. You’re a grown woman; have some sense.
If your husband tells you, “Take care of feeding, children’s school fees and day-to-day running of the house while I use my salary to buy a car, lands and shares for the family'”, he is actually cheating you.
This is because you’re spending your money on expenses that yield no returns, while he’s spending his money on investments that yield returns & he can fall back to! Tomorrow, should you divorce, he will not say it is ‘the family’s property’, he will say “she’s trying to take MY property. Tomorrow, the Court will also ask you, “Where is your evidence of financial contributions?”
Don’t wait for it to happen. From today, ask yourself, “Where are my receipts?” Even though the courts these days are becoming liberal and recognising women’s non-financial contributions during divorce, you still don’t get much, just a fraction of his property will be given to you to settle you after all the effort and years you put in. This is why, for many women, divorce is like starting from ground zero.
3. On financial contributions during marriage. Do not subscribe to traditional family arrangements: The traditional family set-up is rigged against women. Women’s labour is within the house and unpaid; men’s labour is outside and unpaid.
Don’t be tricked into believing that the work both of you do ‘complements each other’ because it does! If he truly believes your work is as valuable as his, then he should give up 50% of his monthly salary to you then you will see how much he truly values your labour. His labour pays him, yours doesn’t, and the law will ask for your financial contribution. The playing ground is already tilted to his advantage at your own expense.
If you’re doing 50/50 financially with your husband but he’s not doing 50/50 domestically, then you’re just clowning. Personally, even as a feminist, I am of the strong view that a man should do 50/50 domestically, but a woman should not do 50/50 financially because of pregnancy, which rests solely on the woman.
During pregnancy, many women lose income, earnings, promotions, career setbacks or even life during this time. Men, on the other hand, get a ‘daddy bonus’ at the workplace! All these losses you incur during pregnancy cannot be compensated for, and the least he can do is shoulder more financial responsibilities. If at all you want to do 50/50, and for instance you earn 200,000 and your husband earns 600,000, if you bring 100,000 and he brings 100,000. You, the woman, are actually losing! At the end of the day, you will barely have enough to invest and save towards a pension.
What you should do is what I call percentage contribution. Example, if I am earning 200,000 and my husband is earning 600,000, a 50/50 contribution should look like this- Both of us should contribute not 100,000 each, BUT 30% of our salaries towards the household. It means 30% of my N200,000 salary is N60,000, while 30% of my husband’s 600,000 salary will be N160,000. The combined sum will be 220,000 to run the household. Both of you still have a lot more to save and invest.
If tomorrow I get a promotion and earn more, my 30% will also increase, and the family will be better off. For joint accounts, both of you should be signatories to it! Stop using ‘my husband’s designated person account’. Go to the bank and open a joint account. No one can clear it without notice sent to you. Many husbands have cleared the joint account and run away. Stop contributing money to build or renovate your husband’s house in HIS village. That property is not yours!
If your own father believes only sons can inherit, stop contributing to renovating the family house. Let the sons do it! Focus on getting your own asset.
4. Gathering receipts of contributions. Your husband wants to buy land or wants you to give him money towards his business or project, do an electronic transfer, not cash. That bank statement is your receipt. Another way to gather receipts is to casually send a WhatsApp message. “Darling, I just sent you the 1 million naira for the poultry farm.”
You don’t need to make it sound official for it to be used as evidence. Create a new Gmail account and send your screenshots and receipts to it- children’s school fees, money sent to him WhatsApp message, etc. When doing an electronic transfer, that narration part, learn to properly label it, eg ‘towards building of the house at Oke-Aro’ or ‘for the poultry farm’ or ‘for renovation of the house,’ etc.
Not ‘to my darling husband’. Tomorrow, he will claim it is a gift, not a contribution towards the house. I know this might sound too much, but I assure you, things change the moment divorce starts and bad blood sets in. Divorce is usually very adversarial. You might not recognise that person you’re doing lovey dovey with today. Or if he dies, those nice in-laws can change. Pls protect yourself ahead.
For the second time, do transfer and learn to properly label what the money is being sent for. Not ‘to my darling husband’
5. On personal savings. Stop feeding a grown man! If your husband has his eyes on your salary, you don’t need to let him know everything you earn, every salary, bonus, promotion package, etc. Get a secret account and disable bank alerts on your phone.
Even if you don’t divorce, the vast majority of women (many studies have shown) find it difficult retiring after 60 years compared to men, because they spent their money on food without any savings! I know you love your children, but pls, remove something for yourself and save towards retirement. Even if it is 10,000 every month from your salary, you deserve it. Every bank has a retirement plan package you should take advantage of.
The Nigerian government is not a retirement plan. Being a government employee is not a retirement plan. Read your news. Prepare for retirement.
6. Spousal maintenance & custody. During a divorce, take advantage of spousal maintenance. Stop coming to my office to tell me, “I don’t want anything from him. I’m not a good digger”. I assure you, no one cares. Those who want to badmouth you will badmouth you.
Some of you are even living with your parents or friends after divorce, and you’re saying that you don’t need any money from him. Sister, quit all this virtue signalling. Society is not going to feed you, and it will be a shame if you go back to a life of penury because you’re busy showing the world that you’re a virtuous divorcee. I assure you, no one cares.
If he’s a good father, stop struggling for sole custody. Go for 50/50 custody so that you can have time to pursue a career, money, date again (if you want), travel, etc. Sole custody is like asking the court to declare you a single mother while the father is out there living his best life and dating.
Pls split the custody so you can have the flexibility of time. Time is money. Stop waiting for deadbeat to show up 20 years later to beg or for the child to grow up and look for their father. Tax them now!
As a single mum, you can sue your baby daddy for child maintenance! You don’t need to be married to him, you don’t need to beg or sleep with him. His salary account will be attached. Once the salary drops, the bank will immediately send it to you per court order! As a wife, you can sue for spousal and child maintenance without divorcing your neglectful husband. Especially those who stopped caring for the children because both of you have issues.
7. Learn & prepare for contingencies. This is not the time to talk about “Oh, you’re making it a gender war, marriage is not war”. My sister, you don’t need to put yourself in a vulnerable position to show a man that you love & trust him!
This is not the time to be saying “I will marry once and marry right” because some of you, when they are advising you, instead of taking caution, you act as if they are laying a curse on you, and you will still fall into the same mistake millions of women have made. No one (at least most people) goes into marriage hoping it will end in divorce; nonetheless, these are contingencies you must prepare for. Consider it like writing a will. I’m not writing a will because I want to die now, but nonetheless I prepare for it!
All marriages, no matter how good and sweet, must come to an end, whether by reason of death or divorce. One of these must happen, so you must prepare for it. You know why? Because the law views marriage as a contract. Not romance, a contract (howbeit a special kind of contract), so it will only be wise for you to conduct your business in the light of what the law has to say regarding your property rights.
If you don’t know what the law has to say about marriage and settlement of property, pls consult your lawyer. There’s more to this! If you think that the few thousand you will spend on consultation is too much, then try the cost of ignorance. Whether you like it or not, you must go back to the law so conduct your business with the law in mind.
8. On Pre-nup. Pre-nup gives you a bird’s eye view of what the marriage will look like and reveals true intentions. I assure you, many men making lofty promises to you will begin to back track and eat their words the moment you wish to write it on paper and have it legally binding. I describe a Prenup as an autopsy before death. It reveals the true state of the mind. Promises without legal backing carry no weight.
Stop shying away from a pre-nup; in fact, go for it. Some of the bad decisions you’re making are because you don’t have a pre-nup! If you have a pre-nup, you would have sat up a long time ago and not let romance blind your eyes. Pre-nup is not just about property but embodies many other things regarding how you and your spouse want to conduct the marriage. everything, including you not quitting your job, how your salary and joint earnings are spent.
A prenup allows you to make decisions ahead when both of you are still in love and have each other’s interests in mind, as opposed to during divorce when there is bad blood. If you don’t have a pre-nup, you can have a post-nup. Never sign a prenup or post-nup without involving a lawyer. NEVER! You’re not obliged to sign immediately it is presented to you. Collect your copy and see a lawyer.
Any man who is forcing you to sign a pre-nup immediately or does not want you to see a lawyer does not have your interest at heart. You’re your best advocate, advocate for yourself! Stop being too marriage-obsessed and male-centred; the poor decisions you’re making are because of it. Be ready to walk away from a bad deal!
9. On Inheritance. If your father or husband thinks only sons can inherit, you can contest his WILL after he dies, especially when you’re still his dependent. There are many EXCEPTIONS you can contest under. See a lawyer before or immediately after Will is read. You don’t have to accept it. It is discriminatory.
You have a right to inherit after your husband dies, even if he left no will. It is a right, not something you should beg for. Get your lawyer to file the necessary processes. Hold your ear – Next of kin does not mean right of inheritance! It only means the person who will be contacted if your husband can’t be reached or if there is a need to make emergency medical decisions. Stop allowing your in-laws to disinherit you because ‘he used his brother’s name as next of kin’.
Remember, it is your right and that of your children to inherit after your husband’s death, even if he dies without a will. You and your children are first in line legally. Stop begging. Your ‘illegitimate children’ also have the right of inheritance even if he does not acknowledge them! (Sorry for using that word.)
10. On Lifestyle. Marriage is not your end; have a life, have friends, and I am not talking about your husband’s friends. They are NOT your friends. Have yours, have a career, try remote work, get that degree, have a hobby, go out, get investments, get properties. Leave the patriarchy alone, it’s not a system designed for you as a woman! If you’ve misstepped, start rectifying your wrong now.
Above all, be ready to walk away if the situation does not nt favour you. invest heavily in courtship & PRENUP, so you get a view of how he actually views your relationship and the roles he expects you to play.
I care sooo much about women’s property rights & I hate to see women lose out at the end of the day after putting in so much effort in their marriage. After he asks you to quit your job, only for the court to ask you what you contributed financially. It is grossly unfair, so protect yourself!
This is just for general enlightenment, as you cannot protect yourself against something you don’t even know exists. To take any step, please consult your lawyer.
Editor’s note: This article was first published on SheResonance
