Why Is Society Rewarding Men Who Harm Women and Girls?

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Enough.

At some point, this society must stop pretending that sexual violence is a small mistake, a misunderstanding, a “setup,” or some unfortunate smear on a man’s reputation. Enough of the pity parade for men who violate women and children. Enough of the applause, the gifts, the rehabilitation tours, the public excuses, the soft interviews, the “he has paid his dues” chorus. Paid dues for what, violating a child and then expecting the world to clap because he survived consequences?

The case forcing this conversation right now is Olanrewaju James, the actor known as Baba Ijesha. In November 2025, he walked out of prison after serving time for the sexual assault of a fourteen-year-old girl, a conviction upheld by the Court of Appeal in 2024. Seven months later, in June 2026, he announced the birth of a son with fashion entrepreneur Abiodun Tokunbo. Then, this past week, he told the internet that the Ooni of Ife had given him a chieftaincy title along with a new car. The palace denied the title within days, confirming only the car and some cash, calling the whole thing probably a joke. Nobody denied the car. That is the pity parade, the gifts, and the rehabilitation tour, all in one royal photo op.

What is wrong with us?

How did we get to a place where a man accused or convicted of sexual violence can still be welcomed, defended, celebrated, and even romantically desired as though nothing happened? How does a man with a history of harming the vulnerable still get access, status, sympathy, and public redemption, while the survivor is left to carry the shame, the trauma, and the silence? 

What exactly is it about male violence that makes society so desperate to forgive it? What exactly is it about women’s suffering that makes people so comfortable ignoring it? And underneath all of it sits the one question that should follow you off this page: what kind of society is more scandalised by a woman’s body than by a man’s abuse? Sit with that one before you keep reading.

In a March 2026 interview on the Talk to B show, his first television appearance since release, he denied being either a rapist or a paedophile, and said the case traced back to him rejecting a personal introduction that Princess, the mother of the girl he assaulted, had tried to arrange. He said he was invited onto a film set to act out a scene of a man preying on a child and did not realise it was a setup. He claimed some accusers later visited him in prison to apologise, saying they had been paid N250,000 to testify against him. 

None of that was ever established in court. What was established, at trial and again on appeal, is that he committed indecent treatment of a child and sexual assault against a fourteen-year-old. He served three years; his name now sits on the Lagos State sex offenders register, and he has announced his return to acting for a project in Osun State. 

For a critical thinking mind, holes can be perceived in his story and his denial. This is an attempt to whitewash a crime he was caught red-handed on camera committing. It reads like a symptom of compulsive lying, a man so committed to salvaging his damaged image that he will demonise the very woman who caught him and protected her daughter. 

For Nigerian courts to convict a famous man especially takes a lot; proving rape and sexual assault in Nigerian courts is a herculean task, and getting the Court of Appeal to uphold the lower court’s judgment shows the prosecution proved its case beyond reasonable doubt. A conviction that survived that is not a technicality; it is the system working the one time it was allowed to.

This is not merely hypocrisy. It is a culture of protection for predators.

And then there is the other insult: women, including women with influence, platforms, and visibility, entering romantic relationships with men whose histories should make any self-protecting person run in the opposite direction. Abiodun Tokunbo, until this announcement, was known publicly as a single mother raising a child on her own. 

What is that? Delusion? Denial? Ego? Trauma? Internalised patriarchy? Or the arrogant belief that I will be the woman who changes him, I will be the one who makes him safe, I will be the magical woman that turns a molester into a gentleman? A woman is not a rehabilitation centre. A vagina is not a moral reset button. Romance is not a cleansing ritual for predation.

What kind of self-abandonment is this? What kind of social conditioning teaches women to believe they are special enough to survive where another woman or child was harmed? What makes a woman think she can cuddle a beast and never be bitten? What part of a man’s charm is worth that kind of gamble?

And let us be honest: society helps women make these dangerous choices by constantly excusing men. We have normalised the idea that a man can be violent and still be valuable, predatory and still be lovable, guilty and still be honour-worthy. We treat male wrongdoing as a temporary stain, something time, money, or public relations can wash away.

“In quiet ways, in unseen ways, God has been writing a story only He could tell.”

That is what he said, announcing his son’s birth like a man narrating his own redemption arc. This is the sheath. This is how Nigeria launders men. We have watched it before: the pastor who repented, the politician who found God, the husband who beats his wife and then leads prayers at the next vigil, and every time, the same script: God has forgiven him, who are you to hold a grudge, he has served his time, let go and let God. 

Nobody asks what it means that the God being invoked to forgive him is not the God of the fourteen-year-old girl who has to live with what he did to her for the rest of her life. But women? Women are sentenced by appearance. A woman can dress how she wants, move how she wants, desire who she wants, and the world will drag her like she committed a crime. A man can commit one. Ask yourself why, and let the silence where an easy answer should be tell you something.

A man can be accused of sexual violence, and people will immediately search for the excuse that protects him. But let a woman be sexually free, outspoken, or uninterested in shrinking herself for male comfort, and suddenly she is “too much,” “indecent,” “loose,” or “bad influence.” What kind of culture shames female autonomy but gives male violence a second chance, then a third, then a fourth? That is the double standard. That is the sickness.

It is not just unfair. It is dangerous.

Because every time we romanticise or normalise a sexual offender, we teach the next survivor that her pain will be ignored if the man is famous enough, rich enough, connected enough, or charming enough. We teach girls that safety is negotiable. We teach women that their instincts are less important than a man’s image. We teach children that predators can be made respectable if the right people stand beside them.

No.

A man who has harmed women or children does not become innocent because he is celebrated. He does not become safe because he is married. He does not become trustworthy because he is defended by celebrities, Regina Chukwu asking the internet why he should be condemned for the rest of his life, Destiny Etiko commenting my woman under the newborn’s announcement, or Yomi Fabiyi, a friend who has defended him publicly since his 2021 arrest, still standing beside him today. 

Princess herself said publicly, after his release, that the public should stay alert because he might return to his old ways, and she accused Fabiyi of chasing clout off her daughter’s trauma. She would know better than any of us what happened in that house. He does not become remorseful because he cries on camera or exits prison. And he certainly does not become worthy of public reward because people are tired of hearing about what he did.

The survivor is the one who should remain at the centre of this conversation. The child. The woman. The person who was violated, silenced, and forced to live with consequences that never should have been hers to carry. If society cannot keep its eyes on the harm, then it is not pursuing justice. It is performing selective memory for male comfort.

So no, we should not be celebrating sex offenders. We should not be decorating them with sympathy and pretending that survival of exposure equals accountability. We should not be helping men erase their violence while interrogating women for wanting freedom, pleasure, visibility, or autonomy. Before you close this, ask yourself once more, plainly, without flinching, what kind of society is more scandalised by a woman’s body than by a man’s abuse? Carry that question with you today, further than you carry his name.

A society that protects predators and polices women is not moral. It is rotten. And until we say that without blinking, the rot will keep spreading.